Posted by: DD | July 24, 2006

no. 236 – Mondaze

I made it through the weekend without dissolving into a blubbering mass of tears. I did take a very hot bath Friday night and nearly passed out from the heat. If I had had a glass of wine, I’m sure Mr. DD would have found me doing an imitation of B. Spears’ video except without the bad extensions and perfect c-cup boobs floating about (my god, woman! what the hell have you been into that you can turn your bath water opaque?!). By the time I got out, I could barely stumble my way to the bed. My leg bones had been melted and were not very efficient at mobility.

As for Auggie, bless your lil’ hearts out there for thinking I should suck up the allergies (along with the accompanying snot and eye goo), but if it was just allergy symptoms I would go along for the guilt trip and move all 8 pounds of hair and 2 pounds of cat into the house. Unfortunately, I have allergy-induced asthma. If you’ve never experienced asthma, have your significant other sit on your chest for 30 minutes and imagine that’s how I feel when I’ve been exposed to animal dander. Being 39 and getting a tsk-tsk from my pulmonologist is rather disconcerting as well. The pleas for her adoption will continue to go out.

The container from SCSA was picked up today from my place of work where I had hoped it would act inconspicuous sitting in the corner of my office. Standing at two and half feet and shaped liked a ginormous suppository, it really wasn’t as inconspicuous as I had wished. "What is that?" was the question I fielded at least a half dozen times. It kind of took on a life of its own. One person actually guessed that it looked like something for a semen analysis. I rewarded him with an affirmative.

One friend asked and I told her she didn’t want to know. This person once told me knowing what kind of underwear another friend’s husband wore prevented her from every looking at him the same again. I figured she may find this kind of truth a little harder to deal with. When she foolishly asked again, I figured OK, you asked for it, and told her. Needless to say, she will never be able to look at Mr. DD the same again, either.

And maybe the following is a little TMI, so if you are feeling at all queasy or delicate (yeah, like I have "delicate flowers" reading my blog! har-har), but Mr. DD was telling me some of the details about the experience. The instructions state that once a specimen has been obtained in the little cup, it must sit in a dark area for an hour so it will become more viscous and easier to withdraw with the little bulb syringe and deposited into the three vials used for freezing and transporting. He said when he opened the lid after an hour, he nearly lost control of his gag reflexes when the aroma of the contents hit him. I said imagine morning breath with that added to it. I think I may have just done myself a huge favor there, ladies.

The lab promises results within a week of receipt. They will be sent to our physician, which is my OB/GYN. In some awful way, I hope that the results come back and show a high DFI. Anything under 30 and Mr. DD will never be able to accept any other attempt at getting pregnant except au natural. Donor Insemination will be O.U.T. and the adoption papers and notes will be permanently shelved. Of course, I wish everything to be normal, but if it’s not, it may give us answers to questions that have remained open for over a year now.

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Responses

  1. I hope the results give you answers also.
    I’ll be looking forward to hearing the outcome.
    I have to say, the morning breath/cup smell and doing yourself a favor comment made me laugh so hard I had to clean my screen.

  2. I’m always up for some TMI. Oh, the lessons one could teach off of yours – e.g., for one, what morning breath sometimes is actually composed of!

    I’m kind of surprised you weren’t invloved in the incubation and ampule capsule thingie distribution process. Gosh, I do love anything with a pipette; I’m in lab withdrawal sometimes. I’m proud of Mr. DD to take care of the process, well, except for your alien spaceship at work.

    BTW, hi people! We really appreciate you supporting DD in person like the rest of us wish we could!

  3. I AM SO A DELICATE FLOWER!!!! (DELICATE DAMN IT, DELICATE)
    As to the whole allergies/ asthma thing – I so get it. We (husband and I) actually adopted a dog from a shelter for a whole 24 hours and then had to return him due to a little difficulty (centering around my husband’s ability to breath and thus, presumably, to survive.) Our son also has an inhaler and we have to say over and over again “no, I’m sorry but we can’t have a dog. no, I’m sorry but we can’t have a dog. no, I’m ….”
    Sorry, got a little carried away there.
    DinoD

  4. I am utterly amazed. I never would have even IMAGINED that putting ejaculate in a still, dark place would cause it to… ferment? ripen?

    DD, check into no-kill animal shelters or find out if there is a cat rescue group near you anywhere. Every time you have an asthma attack your lungs develop scar tissue. For the love of your future, don’t keep the cat. It’s just not worth it. Your son will heal.

    Good luck with that.

  5. Oh, yes, I remember the days….finding the condom under the bed the next morning…yes, I know that smell. Nothing else quite stinks in the same way.

    Oh, and I have asthma, too, although it has been under control for the past 15 years, no attacks, but I KNOW that feeling. It is SOO scary! And Spanglish kind of freaked me out with that scar tissue thing! Yikes!!

  6. I am totally using that morning breath/smell thing next time I get a chance. Now to engineer capturing the sample without him knowing it… 😉

  7. Ah, asthma…well, yeah, that kind of sheds a whole different light on things now, doesn’t it? My oldest has it, too. Good luck finding a home for Auggie. The idea about no-kill shelters was a good one.

    I hope you get some of the answers you are looking for from the analysis.


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Posted by: DD | July 24, 2006

no. 236 – Mondaze

I made it through the weekend without dissolving into a blubbering mass of tears. I did take a very hot bath Friday night and nearly passed out from the heat. If I had had a glass of wine, I’m sure Mr. DD would have found me doing an imitation of B. Spears’ video except without the bad extensions and perfect c-cup boobs floating about (my god, woman! what the hell have you been into that you can turn your bath water opaque?!). By the time I got out, I could barely stumble my way to the bed. My leg bones had been melted and were not very efficient at mobility.

As for Auggie, bless your lil’ hearts out there for thinking I should suck up the allergies (along with the accompanying snot and eye goo), but if it was just allergy symptoms I would go along for the guilt trip and move all 8 pounds of hair and 2 pounds of cat into the house. Unfortunately, I have allergy-induced asthma. If you’ve never experienced asthma, have your significant other sit on your chest for 30 minutes and imagine that’s how I feel when I’ve been exposed to animal dander. Being 39 and getting a tsk-tsk from my pulmonologist is rather disconcerting as well. The pleas for her adoption will continue to go out.

The container from SCSA was picked up today from my place of work where I had hoped it would act inconspicuous sitting in the corner of my office. Standing at two and half feet and shaped liked a ginormous suppository, it really wasn’t as inconspicuous as I had wished. "What is that?" was the question I fielded at least a half dozen times. It kind of took on a life of its own. One person actually guessed that it looked like something for a semen analysis. I rewarded him with an affirmative.

One friend asked and I told her she didn’t want to know. This person once told me knowing what kind of underwear another friend’s husband wore prevented her from every looking at him the same again. I figured she may find this kind of truth a little harder to deal with. When she foolishly asked again, I figured OK, you asked for it, and told her. Needless to say, she will never be able to look at Mr. DD the same again, either.

And maybe the following is a little TMI, so if you are feeling at all queasy or delicate (yeah, like I have "delicate flowers" reading my blog! har-har), but Mr. DD was telling me some of the details about the experience. The instructions state that once a specimen has been obtained in the little cup, it must sit in a dark area for an hour so it will become more viscous and easier to withdraw with the little bulb syringe and deposited into the three vials used for freezing and transporting. He said when he opened the lid after an hour, he nearly lost control of his gag reflexes when the aroma of the contents hit him. I said imagine morning breath with that added to it. I think I may have just done myself a huge favor there, ladies.

The lab promises results within a week of receipt. They will be sent to our physician, which is my OB/GYN. In some awful way, I hope that the results come back and show a high DFI. Anything under 30 and Mr. DD will never be able to accept any other attempt at getting pregnant except au natural. Donor Insemination will be O.U.T. and the adoption papers and notes will be permanently shelved. Of course, I wish everything to be normal, but if it’s not, it may give us answers to questions that have remained open for over a year now.


Responses

  1. I hope the results give you answers also.
    I’ll be looking forward to hearing the outcome.
    I have to say, the morning breath/cup smell and doing yourself a favor comment made me laugh so hard I had to clean my screen.

  2. I, too, lost it at the morning breath comment. If the subject of morning sex comes up at our house, I insist on the brushing of teeth first. Kind of ruins the spontaneity of it all, don’t ya think?

  3. I AM SO A DELICATE FLOWER!!!! (DELICATE DAMN IT, DELICATE)
    As to the whole allergies/ asthma thing – I so get it. We (husband and I) actually adopted a dog from a shelter for a whole 24 hours and then had to return him due to a little difficulty (centering around my husband’s ability to breath and thus, presumably, to survive.) Our son also has an inhaler and we have to say over and over again “no, I’m sorry but we can’t have a dog. no, I’m sorry but we can’t have a dog. no, I’m ….”
    Sorry, got a little carried away there.
    DinoD

  4. I am utterly amazed. I never would have even IMAGINED that putting ejaculate in a still, dark place would cause it to… ferment? ripen?

    DD, check into no-kill animal shelters or find out if there is a cat rescue group near you anywhere. Every time you have an asthma attack your lungs develop scar tissue. For the love of your future, don’t keep the cat. It’s just not worth it. Your son will heal.

    Good luck with that.

  5. Oh, yes, I remember the days….finding the condom under the bed the next morning…yes, I know that smell. Nothing else quite stinks in the same way.

    Oh, and I have asthma, too, although it has been under control for the past 15 years, no attacks, but I KNOW that feeling. It is SOO scary! And Spanglish kind of freaked me out with that scar tissue thing! Yikes!!

  6. I am totally using that morning breath/smell thing next time I get a chance. Now to engineer capturing the sample without him knowing it… 😉

  7. Ah, asthma…well, yeah, that kind of sheds a whole different light on things now, doesn’t it? My oldest has it, too. Good luck finding a home for Auggie. The idea about no-kill shelters was a good one.

    I hope you get some of the answers you are looking for from the analysis.

  8. I was delicate once… but that ended with some really bad morning breath. lol.

    Good luck finding a home for Auggie.


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