Posted by: DD | July 25, 2006

no. 238 – ‘Scuze Me While I Rant A While

Troll Remember that post I had about "How to Blog" ? Since the whole post drifted into a tangent, it typically got a little away from me. I didn’t have time or energy add something else that was on my mind when it came to blogging and quite frankly, I forgot about it until today.

I read quite a few blogs. Some, I’ve been reading since the beginning of time (my time, August 2005). I comment on these blogs regularly, the Comment Slut that I am. I always get a little hitch in my step when I see my blog’s link in the side-bar, even if it’s my old Knocked Up…Then Knocked Down site. Why then do I feel just a little let down when on other sites that I visit frequently; comment on; and generally thought that there was some personal rapport outside of just blogging, that I’m not part of their links? Especially when I notice blogs who have started up much more recently that we both read have been added. So I know it’s not because they haven’t updated in a while (for those of you who update once every eon, you’ve been granted immunity from my passive-aggressive rant).

Actually, this takes me back to high school: "Ohmygawd, DD, you did a great job designing the cover of the Year Book, you are soo-oo-o incredibly talented (Yeah. I’m elaborating here. It’s for effect.). How long did it take you? Where did you get your ideas? Like, you should so be a famous artist. Thanks for making the Year Book soo-oo-o special." All this as they hug their Year Book tightly to their stuffed bra chest and turn with a flip of their cheerleading skirt to get the kid the end of the hall to sign it, even though I’m standing right there, troll-doll pen in hand, murmuring thank-you to a now-receding cloud of Charlie perfume.

It feels like that.

Maybe I’m way off base. Maybe I shouldn’t care as much who does or who doesn’t have my site as a link, but it’s hard not to take personally when my blog is about as personal as it gets. I guess this has given me the additional inspiration that I make sure that everyone I have on my bloglines is on my side-bar. And if after I get all done, you notice you’re not there, I want you to do me a favor: call me on it via email or comment. I’ll be the first one to eat humble pie.

. . . Like, did someone just say "pie"? Ohmygawd, gag me with a spoon . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gah. The more I think about this post, the more I wish I would just delete it, but I won’t. I don’t want a bunch of you getting all paranoid. If you are feeling paranoid, then it probably doesn’t apply to you because I’m thinking the people I would wish would get this won’t. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I love you, anyway. Once again, gah!

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Responses

  1. You know how your mother used to chew you and your siblings out for tracking mud into the house… “Which one of you was it?!” And you know how even though YOU hadn’t been outside playing in days… you still felt guilty? And even though the mud clearly was from sneakers (you know, the little dried clumps that are exactly uniform in size) and your always bare foot you STILL had to check your feet because it was eating you alive and you felt so bad?!?

    Well this was that!

    I checked. I’m safe, my feet are clean.

  2. I feel v virtuous as have you on the right part of my links, and with the right address. Ha.

    But I know what you mean. It really is a community, this world, and like all communities that makes it prone to hurts and misunderstandings and people left standing at the edge of the dance floor from time to time.

  3. Comment slut! What a brilliant observation!

    Okay, maybe I’m a little guilty? I did start subscribing to some of my Bloglines as ‘private’ so they don’t show up on my blogroll. I need to think on it some more, because I myself like to click on my Bloglines Blogroll and get to anyone easily. My concern was a security thing – someone who doesn’t like me would find a collective you when using the tools right at my site. I’ve seen it happen before and I wanted to not be the cause of it happening to any of you.

    My beef in the blogroll regard, and I do not wish to step on any team-colored saddle oxfords, is when I am listed under someone’s blogroll as having ‘arrived,’ because I do have one kid. SIF feels overlooked and insignificant somehow. Of course, I can’t make the world add another category, but I figure in the Haven of the Comment Slut, my words might make a bigger dent.

    PS – I am really hating my blog right now. I want to run screaming into the hills. Maybe I’ll make it out as far as you.

  4. My god, the blog paranoia you inspired! I just had to check and then double-check that you were still linked on my site (which you are, of course–although the randomly generated link selection can be confusing). Whew!
    I know what you mean. It IS hard not to take personally. I have a few situations of my own like the ones you mention. I try to tell myself I am too grown up to feel bad about such things, but HAHAHA!

  5. oh my gawd, like i’m totally updating my links over the last few days. and maybe i’ll finish some time this century. you’ll be there soon, i promise!!!

  6. I am guilty! I don’t know how to add links to my page. I’m going to have to sit down with my husband and go over this. I will rectify the situation ASAP!

    I enjoy reading your posts and I pray for you often. I hope that your dreams of X number 2 come true – by whatever means.

    I remember very well what living with infertility is like. That isn’t my current issue, but dealing with things over which I have little or no control definitely is. In that way, we are having similar struggles.

  7. I try to link to everyone who links to the Peevery. I did recently move the links out of the sidebar and into del.icio.us, but that was simply because the upkeep was getting to be too much. The only blogs I don’t link to that link to the Peevery are second blogs by people who already have one on the list and blogs that exist solely for the purpose of being a blogroll. Link reciprocity is definitely good blogging etiquette.

  8. Strange this… At one point I saw you linked to me, but now it’s not there. But I don’t see any category I would fit into either anymore. I am just a slug on LJ so there are no links there but I did notice you started one and added you as a friend. If you post this address on your LJ that might add some more linkage.

    Also, thanks for the kind and encouraging words of late. I honestly appreciate it.

    I apologize for not commenting here more, I tend to comment only when I have something important or useful to say so a lot of time I end up unintentionally lurking. I do keep up with you though and I enjoy reading your world. So thanks.

  9. LMAO – I promise if I ever learn how to do the links you will be one of them! But you are on my favorites list if that helps!
    I’m the same way – I’m pleased when I see my link on someone’s blog. And I recently wrote a post about it…I just haven’t posted it yet. 🙂

  10. This is why I took down my links — I know how it feels to get dropped/moved off links and wonder why and I didn’t want to do that to anyone by mistake. But then I feel bad because I’m not directing traffic to people or giving them a public shout out. I still haven’t reconciled it really.

  11. Here’s one explanation, and perhaps why I do not have very many links on my blog. Because I’m lazy and I don’t really know how to do anything in blogger and I have a Mac which doesn’t work that well with Blogger. I suppose I should spend more time figuring it out but I’m kind of scatter brained too and that would take time away from me keeping track of whether my underwear is on inside out or not.

  12. OK, I got all paranoid and checked my very-short list. You’re on it. Good thing, since shortly after I added you I forgot how to do it right, and new links are disappearing at alarming rates. I should probably work on figuring that out real soon, ’cause I’m finding new cool kids all over the place reading everyone else’s blogrolls.

  13. I had to double-check also, even though I was pretty sure I’d updated your blog on my list (I did). But I know there are blogs I read that I haven’t added to my blogroll

    I feel exactly the same way when I see that I’ve been added to a blogrool, and sometimes wonder what I did wrong when I comment on someone’s blog often and they don’t ever come to mine. Did I use the wrong font? Do I smell? Still getting over the whole lack-of-self-confidence thing from high school, I guess.

    I try my hardest to remember that I’m writing for me but, deep in my heart, I think I’m also a Comment Slut. They give me such a rush.

  14. Going to check my links right now… I think I have both of your blogs on my list!!

    Take care

  15. DD – I LOVELOVELOVE that you had the …er.. balls to post this… I think it’s secretly what we’re all thinking! (BTW. I have a link to you on my blog, hint hint)

    It does remind me of high school, though. Unpleasantly.

    I have been known to delete people from my links for long-term unrecipricocity. Is that bad?

  16. Do I get some special prize for having you on my blog links and there are only FOUR (4) people there? Or do I get the razz for only having four?
    I read and comment (sporadically) on more than four blogs but the four I have listed are different – they are the four that I have promised myself I will continue to follow (through pregnancies and whatever else is thrown in). Sometimes it is just too difficult to read other blogs and if I can’t be happy for a pregnancy announcement then I shouldn’t read and if I don’t read them then I shouldn’t have them as a link and if I don’t have them as a link I don’t feel so guilty and if I don’t feel so guilty …. what was the question again?
    Anyway, your site is coming up again (on the same computer as before so something changed somewhere in the last hour or so)
    DinoD

  17. It’s well to be frank… I suck at updating the links etc. Right now I’m so lazy it’s not even funny. I will endeavor to update my links because well I read your posts daily and I’m just a bad blogger 😀 I hope you are able to fix your glitch!

  18. i felt a pang of guilt for a minute there, and then i saw i was not listed on your linky-links either. which is cool, as we are in very early stages of our relationship and that kind of committment *could* be premature and foolish (heh). i mean, i hardly know you.

    seriously though, i know what you mean–and it’s a side of this whole blogging thing that (when I stand back and be academic about it) i find fascinating–how “real-world” conventions seep into this electronic network that we are making. this community.
    then there’s the larger part of me that is not at all academic about it. last week i visited an old friend online who used to comment on my blog daily (and me hers) who corresponded with me via email–we were friends, or so I thought. I was still commenting blithely on her blog, but she had not stopped by for a while. I glimpsed at her site’s roll, and well, she not only removed me from her “favorite peeps” category, i was off her whole blogroll. and it actually shocked me how much it affected me. it even led to sleepless night wondering what i had done to earn her dislike.
    and on one level, we don’t even really *know* each other. why was i caring as much as i would if she and i had actually become friends IRL.
    i’m over it now, have to say (and would not be if she was IRL pal) but the whole community politics of this thing can be kind of suffocating sometimes. For me it brings out an insecure side of myself I do not like.
    On the other hand, it also attests to the powerful nature of these communities–and that’s a great thing too.

    yours, undecided
    joy
    p.s. when i next update you’re for sure going on mine;-)

  19. What a generous blogger you are!

    That reminds me… I need to update my blogroll.

  20. Had to go check. Yeah, you are there. Phew…

  21. I think this is a post that almost EVERYONE can identify with. I’m so bad at updating my blogroll, and this post should inspire to get on the stick right away… But just wanted to note that I understand this in a horrible flashback to high school kind of way.

  22. Don’t feel bad, I get the same feeling sometimes. It feels so good to be included, and so crummy when your forgotten, but you don’t want to e-mail someone with a pitty party… please add me to your links I feel left out.

    Have no fear, when I update again (hopefully this century) I will add you to my links.


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Posted by: DD | July 25, 2006

no. 238 – ‘Scuze Me While I Rant A While

Troll Remember that post I had about "How to Blog" ? Since the whole post drifted into a tangent, it typically got a little away from me. I didn’t have time or energy add something else that was on my mind when it came to blogging and quite frankly, I forgot about it until today.

I read quite a few blogs. Some, I’ve been reading since the beginning of time (my time, August 2005). I comment on these blogs regularly, the Comment Slut that I am. I always get a little hitch in my step when I see my blog’s link in the side-bar, even if it’s my old Knocked Up…Then Knocked Down site. Why then do I feel just a little let down when on other sites that I visit frequently; comment on; and generally thought that there was some personal rapport outside of just blogging, that I’m not part of their links? Especially when I notice blogs who have started up much more recently that we both read have been added. So I know it’s not because they haven’t updated in a while (for those of you who update once every eon, you’ve been granted immunity from my passive-aggressive rant).

Actually, this takes me back to high school: "Ohmygawd, DD, you did a great job designing the cover of the Year Book, you are soo-oo-o incredibly talented (Yeah. I’m elaborating here. It’s for effect.). How long did it take you? Where did you get your ideas? Like, you should so be a famous artist. Thanks for making the Year Book soo-oo-o special." All this as they hug their Year Book tightly to their stuffed bra chest and turn with a flip of their cheerleading skirt to get the kid the end of the hall to sign it, even though I’m standing right there, troll-doll pen in hand, murmuring thank-you to a now-receding cloud of Charlie perfume.

It feels like that.

Maybe I’m way off base. Maybe I shouldn’t care as much who does or who doesn’t have my site as a link, but it’s hard not to take personally when my blog is about as personal as it gets. I guess this has given me the additional inspiration that I make sure that everyone I have on my bloglines is on my side-bar. And if after I get all done, you notice you’re not there, I want you to do me a favor: call me on it via email or comment. I’ll be the first one to eat humble pie.

. . . Like, did someone just say "pie"? Ohmygawd, gag me with a spoon . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gah. The more I think about this post, the more I wish I would just delete it, but I won’t. I don’t want a bunch of you getting all paranoid. If you are feeling paranoid, then it probably doesn’t apply to you because I’m thinking the people I would wish would get this won’t. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I love you, anyway. Once again, gah!


Responses

  1. You know how your mother used to chew you and your siblings out for tracking mud into the house… “Which one of you was it?!” And you know how even though YOU hadn’t been outside playing in days… you still felt guilty? And even though the mud clearly was from sneakers (you know, the little dried clumps that are exactly uniform in size) and your always bare foot you STILL had to check your feet because it was eating you alive and you felt so bad?!?

    Well this was that!

    I checked. I’m safe, my feet are clean.

  2. I feel v virtuous as have you on the right part of my links, and with the right address. Ha.

    But I know what you mean. It really is a community, this world, and like all communities that makes it prone to hurts and misunderstandings and people left standing at the edge of the dance floor from time to time.

  3. Comment slut! What a brilliant observation!

    Okay, maybe I’m a little guilty? I did start subscribing to some of my Bloglines as ‘private’ so they don’t show up on my blogroll. I need to think on it some more, because I myself like to click on my Bloglines Blogroll and get to anyone easily. My concern was a security thing – someone who doesn’t like me would find a collective you when using the tools right at my site. I’ve seen it happen before and I wanted to not be the cause of it happening to any of you.

    My beef in the blogroll regard, and I do not wish to step on any team-colored saddle oxfords, is when I am listed under someone’s blogroll as having ‘arrived,’ because I do have one kid. SIF feels overlooked and insignificant somehow. Of course, I can’t make the world add another category, but I figure in the Haven of the Comment Slut, my words might make a bigger dent.

    PS – I am really hating my blog right now. I want to run screaming into the hills. Maybe I’ll make it out as far as you.

  4. My god, the blog paranoia you inspired! I just had to check and then double-check that you were still linked on my site (which you are, of course–although the randomly generated link selection can be confusing). Whew!
    I know what you mean. It IS hard not to take personally. I have a few situations of my own like the ones you mention. I try to tell myself I am too grown up to feel bad about such things, but HAHAHA!

  5. oh my gawd, like i’m totally updating my links over the last few days. and maybe i’ll finish some time this century. you’ll be there soon, i promise!!!

  6. I am guilty! I don’t know how to add links to my page. I’m going to have to sit down with my husband and go over this. I will rectify the situation ASAP!

    I enjoy reading your posts and I pray for you often. I hope that your dreams of X number 2 come true – by whatever means.

    I remember very well what living with infertility is like. That isn’t my current issue, but dealing with things over which I have little or no control definitely is. In that way, we are having similar struggles.

  7. I try to link to everyone who links to the Peevery. I did recently move the links out of the sidebar and into del.icio.us, but that was simply because the upkeep was getting to be too much. The only blogs I don’t link to that link to the Peevery are second blogs by people who already have one on the list and blogs that exist solely for the purpose of being a blogroll. Link reciprocity is definitely good blogging etiquette.

  8. Strange this… At one point I saw you linked to me, but now it’s not there. But I don’t see any category I would fit into either anymore. I am just a slug on LJ so there are no links there but I did notice you started one and added you as a friend. If you post this address on your LJ that might add some more linkage.

    Also, thanks for the kind and encouraging words of late. I honestly appreciate it.

    I apologize for not commenting here more, I tend to comment only when I have something important or useful to say so a lot of time I end up unintentionally lurking. I do keep up with you though and I enjoy reading your world. So thanks.

  9. LMAO – I promise if I ever learn how to do the links you will be one of them! But you are on my favorites list if that helps!
    I’m the same way – I’m pleased when I see my link on someone’s blog. And I recently wrote a post about it…I just haven’t posted it yet. 🙂

  10. This is why I took down my links — I know how it feels to get dropped/moved off links and wonder why and I didn’t want to do that to anyone by mistake. But then I feel bad because I’m not directing traffic to people or giving them a public shout out. I still haven’t reconciled it really.

  11. Here’s one explanation, and perhaps why I do not have very many links on my blog. Because I’m lazy and I don’t really know how to do anything in blogger and I have a Mac which doesn’t work that well with Blogger. I suppose I should spend more time figuring it out but I’m kind of scatter brained too and that would take time away from me keeping track of whether my underwear is on inside out or not.

  12. OK, I got all paranoid and checked my very-short list. You’re on it. Good thing, since shortly after I added you I forgot how to do it right, and new links are disappearing at alarming rates. I should probably work on figuring that out real soon, ’cause I’m finding new cool kids all over the place reading everyone else’s blogrolls.

  13. I had to double-check also, even though I was pretty sure I’d updated your blog on my list (I did). But I know there are blogs I read that I haven’t added to my blogroll

    I feel exactly the same way when I see that I’ve been added to a blogrool, and sometimes wonder what I did wrong when I comment on someone’s blog often and they don’t ever come to mine. Did I use the wrong font? Do I smell? Still getting over the whole lack-of-self-confidence thing from high school, I guess.

    I try my hardest to remember that I’m writing for me but, deep in my heart, I think I’m also a Comment Slut. They give me such a rush.

  14. Dear DD, I know the feeling — even the yearbook feeling. Sigh. There are so many situations in the blogging world that can remind you of high school. That’s on bad days, though — on good days, this place feels like the clique we always dreamed about back then. (Just the company, mind you, not the… club.)

    And I’m sorry I’ve been so absent of late — this dialup connection is driving me nuts! Anyway, I just got caught up, and I’m so sorry about the negative. And I’m so glad your husband overcame his retching impulse (had to laugh there) to send in the sample… keeping everything crossed that the answer brings you clarity and a way forward.

  15. I never update my blogroll.
    I love you and I am updating my blogroll right now!

  16. A while back, I took down most of my links so I could arrange them, title them, categorize them… that was almost a year ago! I am SO effing lazy. Or is it forgetful? I shall have to rectify that, and soon. Maybe by the end of summer. 🙂

  17. i felt a pang of guilt for a minute there, and then i saw i was not listed on your linky-links either. which is cool, as we are in very early stages of our relationship and that kind of committment *could* be premature and foolish (heh). i mean, i hardly know you.

    seriously though, i know what you mean–and it’s a side of this whole blogging thing that (when I stand back and be academic about it) i find fascinating–how “real-world” conventions seep into this electronic network that we are making. this community.
    then there’s the larger part of me that is not at all academic about it. last week i visited an old friend online who used to comment on my blog daily (and me hers) who corresponded with me via email–we were friends, or so I thought. I was still commenting blithely on her blog, but she had not stopped by for a while. I glimpsed at her site’s roll, and well, she not only removed me from her “favorite peeps” category, i was off her whole blogroll. and it actually shocked me how much it affected me. it even led to sleepless night wondering what i had done to earn her dislike.
    and on one level, we don’t even really *know* each other. why was i caring as much as i would if she and i had actually become friends IRL.
    i’m over it now, have to say (and would not be if she was IRL pal) but the whole community politics of this thing can be kind of suffocating sometimes. For me it brings out an insecure side of myself I do not like.
    On the other hand, it also attests to the powerful nature of these communities–and that’s a great thing too.

    yours, undecided
    joy
    p.s. when i next update you’re for sure going on mine;-)

  18. What a generous blogger you are!

    That reminds me… I need to update my blogroll.

  19. I think this is a post that almost EVERYONE can identify with. I’m so bad at updating my blogroll, and this post should inspire to get on the stick right away… But just wanted to note that I understand this in a horrible flashback to high school kind of way.

  20. Don’t feel bad, I get the same feeling sometimes. It feels so good to be included, and so crummy when your forgotten, but you don’t want to e-mail someone with a pitty party… please add me to your links I feel left out.

    Have no fear, when I update again (hopefully this century) I will add you to my links.


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