Posted by: DD | August 3, 2006

no. 243 – I am a Maroon

I read Thalia’s post on antenatal blogging and the tendency not to. I pondered the issue and offered what I thought was a well-composed comment. Then I thought I would like to hitchhike off that post and take advantage of the dreams I have had every night for the past week about being pregnant and how I would not only continue blogging if I became pregnant, but I would surely post about it in such a manner that you would find yourselves either flinging your glass of wine at the computer screen or seek out a specialist in hexes. My capability to annoy would be at it’s peak.

It was while I was driving to work that I was letting the ideas sift through the crevices of my brain, and then I realized with a thunderbolt of clarity that I am, indeed, a Maroon. Actually, a Moron for those of you with more than a GED. You see, I consider myself not to be of average intelligence. Instead, I am waa-aa-y below that limbo pole of average. Because in my well-thought out and brow-furrowing comment that I left Thalia, I talked about having rapport.

What…you don’t see where I was talking about RAPPORT?

That’s because I wrote REPOIRE!

Gah! Nothing says backwoods, country bumpkin when an adult has that kind of spelling ability. I even checked the dictionary to see if repoire was actually a word… and it’s not, unless you count this dufus who did the the same thing.

I would like to officially blame Nebraska for my language degradation. Things are not pronounced the same here. We don’t have a drawl like some of you Southern folk, but just a rather slow and lazy way of talking, which has a way of messing with the supposed perfection of phonics. Mr. DD thinks his 8 years in Boston gives him oneupmanship when it comes to pointing out particular words that come out of my mouth (like he has room to talk!!) (and let’s not forget that those 8 years were the first 8 years of his life so they really don’t count). He finds a particular kind of glee emphasizing how I say “didn’t”. Except I don’t say “didn’t”. I say “dint”. One syllable, people.

Woulda, Shoulda and Coulda frequently pepper my vocabulary, also. As well as wa’nt (wasn’t), int (isn’t) and might’ve. And then there’s the times (x100) that I say, “Ya betcha” instead of “You’re welcome.” …What the fuck? …Ya betcha?

See? It’s another advantage to blogging. Or is it a disadvantage? When you read this, do you imagine the voice of the person behind the words? Or do you read it the way you speak? TB once did an audio post and I was surprised to hear that she has a very melodic and throaty voice. If you’ve seen her, you might imagine her voice to be higher pitched, like tinkling wine glasses. For me I would never do an audio post, at least not without the disclaimer to put Fido outside before you could play the track lest I damage his hearing forever. My voice is “nasaly” (a.k.a. whiny) and I cringe whenever I hear it recorded. My laugh is straight out of Wizard of Oz, and no, I’m not talking about Glenda the Good Witch…the other witch.

Can I keep blaming Nebraska for the tonal quality of my voice or the bizarre cackle of a laugh I have? Maybe not, but I think it’s a hellava place to start. But I promise you this: I will never spell Rapport Repoire again!

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Responses

  1. Iam the same way about my voice (and spelling.) I have the Southern accent thing, but I sound like I’m 12 years old. Its pretty embarassing (and I know I spelled that wrong!) I hate the sound of my recorded voice! Eeek.

    But I do wish that I had a voice with the blogs I read…hint hint.

  2. Listen Missy, don’t you dare start dissin’ on Nebraska. I just couldn’t take it. It’s still a magical, wonderful place to me. You’ll break my heart, DD, really. Plus I may just be a tad bit insulted considered I was a UNO Cornhusker for two years….

  3. You know, I never actually thought about the actual voice of the blogger whose post I was reading. But after reading this, I am now obsessed to know what you sound like!

    For the longest time, I had the thickest Chicago accent, and when I left the Midwest, everyone made fun of me for it. Now I’ve lost it completely, and I’m actually pretty sad about it, because I think I sound so boring without it!

  4. Aw thanks. I tend to think of my voice as much less melodic and more wine glasses shattering ;o)

    It’s funny because I just went to BlogHer and met a ton of women whose blogs I have read for some time and seeing them in person/hearing their voices was surreal. It was like everyone sounded just like I expected them to.

    You’ve said this to me about your voice before, I bet it sounds a lot worse when you hear it yourself than it ever does to anyone else, that’s how it always works.
    And now you’re practically begging me to share the audio post link with you so we can decide for ourselves. (www.odeo.com)

  5. Man, I hope this was supposed to be a funny entry ’cause I was cracking up reading it.

    .. and it makes me feel a bit better about my inability to find a spellcheck on blogger. Typos and misspellings never bother me… unless they’re my own.

  6. This would be a bad time to point out that I’ve lived in NE 98% of my life and I don’t say things that way, huh? My aunt and cousins do, though. Especially “din’t”.

  7. I’ll take dint over y’all anytime.

  8. I definitely read blogs with my own accent. Funny that it never really occurred to me (even with the English / Aussie blogs) that they could be written in a different accent. But now that you bring it up, I think that hearing each bloggers voice reading just a little bit of one of their posts would be a great way to add a little more personality than one gets just from reading.

    Of course, I really don’t like my own voice, especially when I hear it recorded (it’s a quite high pitched, and I think I sound like a kid), but whatever…

  9. DD – Well, I think that repoire is excellent spelling for a word that just hasn’t been invented yet. If you used it in scrabble, no one would dare to question it, that’s what I reckon.

    x

  10. I can’t comment. I live where we drink “melk” instead of milk. Don’t even ask me to say the word “bag.”


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