Posted by: DD | August 7, 2006

no. 246 – Comments

Riddle me this:

Do you feel that once you become a regular commenter, that you feel obligated to comment on each post even if the post really doesn’t speak to you on any visceral level? Yes, you can use my blog as an example. No, I won’t be offended.

Does anyone find it completely ridiculous that a blog post about Crocs would garner 260+ comments? Especially if it’s only two sentences long?

What is it about me that you would like to know more about? What would you like to know less about?

If you were to offer me suggestions of improvement, what would they be?

Anything less than blunt honesty will be met with me pummeling you virtually with my hot pink Crocs.

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Responses

  1. What I find most often is that somebody who I comment on regularly (and they probably do the same with me) will post something significant and I will read it when busy, save it in Bloglines (I have dozens saved), then I don’t get back to it. That makes me feel bad.

    I will admit to wondering, “Where is DD today?” if I haven’t heard from you. (Or someone equally as wonderful as DD.) I also think that something might hit too close to home (today) or just not be of interest. It’s all a flow.

    However, if anyone is distressed, even if I can’t relate directly, I will definitely try to comment, i.e. I would not comment on crocs and stupidity just to be making a comment. Well, that brings up another point. Comment sections become conversational. That rarely happens at my place – not enough comments – but I sure enjoy when somebody’s post sparks further discussion within the comments.

    No, there is nothing at all what so ever further I desire to know of you. I do not know why I am drawn to come back. Must be the beer and pretzels. Thanks.

  2. Dear DD, first of all, I’m glad things went well with your friend. I laughed out loud at the pictures on your last post — that is just like me.

    As for commenting, I usually do feel an obligation (though that’s not the right word for it — it’s more a strong wish) to comment on every post by my favorite bloggers, but sometimes it doesn’t happen for lack of time (particularly with those more-than-once-a-day posters), or because of Croc-related topics (260+ comments? where?), or because I want to get back to it after giving it some thought (and then don’t, for reasons of lameness) or because the post asks a question I can’t or don’t feel equipped to answer, or because, hell, there are gazillions of comments already and I don’t know what to add. What I hate is the feeling of getting to know new and wonderful bloggers and not having enough time to visit them on a regular basis.

    What you write is just fine — it’s lovely to get to know you bit by bit. I have no suggestions for improvement. Really and truly.

  3. Okay… I’ll bite. I will shamefully admit to NOT knowing what Crocs were and further, I now shamefully admit to wondering how you knew there were 260+ comments on a 2 line post. But that’s me…

    There are a few blogs that I read knowing that I will comment pretty much each time – others, only when something really strikes home (those are usually the blogs that get 300 comments each post). I agree with Cricket – if someone is in distress or asking an opinion, if I have something to say… I’ll say it.

    Also thanks to Cricket, I’ve kind of become a “comment hound” and I often go back and read the comments and hope for a good discussion.

    I don’t like posts that insite me to leave “me too” or “I agree” type comments because I feel like I’m back in high school and jumping up and down with my hand raised – that’s just me though.

    Your blog is wonderful as is. If I don’t leave a comment it’s not because I didn’t read or I didn’t agree. It’s probably because 87 other people said the exact same thing I was planning on saying.

  4. (apparently I would comment more on my own if Typepad would remember who the hell I am, even if it’s just on my own bloody site!)

    Kellie, do you find yourself not commenting on the posts you don’t agree on if the Blog is written by one of the Biggies (Julia, Julie, Tertia, etc.) or do you feel more comfortable posting in contridiction to the discussion on Blogs of the smaller and more intimate nature?

    I find myself following the crowd mentality, even when deep down I may not agree or even forget there’s a flip side. This happened recently when Thalia posted about Absentee Bloggers and then DinoD (Frozen not Fossilized) offered the flip. I felt more comfortable presenting the argument with Dino then I did with Thalia (nothing personal, Thalia) because I got caught up in the flow.

  5. Your damn site doesn’t remember me, either. What a pain!

    I comment most of the time, but sometimes, believe it or not, I have nothing to say.

    I will admit I am envious of those people who get hundreds of comments. True, they have great writing styles but sometimes the subjects behoove me. i.e. crocs (Which, by the way, The Boy would love to have but MFH says NO! loud and clear on this. I guess he considers them girl shoes.)

  6. Hello DD,

    As a long time lurker on your site, it was nice to see a comment from you on my blog this morning.

    I personally am so new to blogging that when I get a comment, it’s like Christmas. Or a truffle. Something to be savored slowly. I appreciate them in a way that someone who has 200+ on a 2 line post probably can’t. There just isn’t enough time or energy, you know? If I write something completely mundane, I don’t expect comments. I wasted my time writing it but why should anyone else waste their time commenting on it?

    There is only one blog that I comment on regularly. And that’s my moms. Because I have to. Otherwise? I’m content to sit against the wall, pushing my glasses up with my index finger and watching the cool kids in the center circle.

  7. Hello DD,

    As a long time lurker on your site, it was nice to see a comment from you on my blog this morning.

    I personally am so new to blogging that when I get a comment, it’s like Christmas. Or a truffle. Something to be savored slowly. I appreciate them in a way that someone who has 200+ on a 2 line post probably can’t. There just isn’t enough time or energy, you know? If I write something completely mundane, I don’t expect comments. I wasted my time writing it but why should anyone else waste their time commenting on it?

    There is only one blog that I comment on regularly. And that’s my moms. Because I have to. Otherwise? I’m content to sit against the wall, pushing my glasses up with my index finger and watching the cool kids in the center circle.

  8. Admittedly I only check in every so often when I can (I’m at work). But I try to comment on posts that either I can relate to in some way, or that ask a question.

    I do not share the same child bearing hardships as you, but I find your life very interesting. I like to see both sides of the spectrum. Plus I like that you are so very REAL in your posts. No tidying up the words to make things more pleasant or “professional”, it’s just you.

    P.S. Feel free to comment on my blog.. http://allanas-axioms.blogspot.com/ ..it’s more of a deeper philosophical type, but I like philosophical debates. Also my friend has one too: http://american-viewpoint.blogspot.com/

  9. Admittedly I only check in every so often when I can (I’m at work). But I try to comment on posts that either I can relate to in some way, or that ask a question.

    I do not share the same child bearing hardships as you, but I find your life very interesting. I like to see both sides of the spectrum. Plus I like that you are so very REAL in your posts. No tidying up the words to make things more pleasant or “professional”, it’s just you.

    P.S. Feel free to comment on my blog.. http://allanas-axioms.blogspot.com/ ..it’s more of a deeper philosophical type, but I like philosophical debates. Also my friend has one too: http://american-viewpoint.blogspot.com/

  10. Allana, my blog is like my house: dirty dishes in the sink (if I’m lucky ’cause they’re usually still sitting on the counter or table) and toys in the couch and the tags still on the new rug I bought because I have to walk on it for a few weeks before I’ll decide on whether to keep it or not.

    I’ll be stopping by later.

  11. Allana, my blog is like my house: dirty dishes in the sink (if I’m lucky ’cause they’re usually still sitting on the counter or table) and toys in the couch and the tags still on the new rug I bought because I have to walk on it for a few weeks before I’ll decide on whether to keep it or not.

    I’ll be stopping by later.

  12. I sometimes feel a little “weird” about commenting on posts about your SIF struggles and when you’re feeling blue. I didn’t feel that I had the “right” to say anything to you about it while I was gestating and now that Will is here, safe & sound. Because I DON’T know what you’re going through and how it feels, so I feel a little hypocritical about commenting.
    Whenever I don’t feel like I should comment on the blog, I’ll send an email to be a bit more personal.

  13. I sometimes feel a little “weird” about commenting on posts about your SIF struggles and when you’re feeling blue. I didn’t feel that I had the “right” to say anything to you about it while I was gestating and now that Will is here, safe & sound. Because I DON’T know what you’re going through and how it feels, so I feel a little hypocritical about commenting.
    Whenever I don’t feel like I should comment on the blog, I’ll send an email to be a bit more personal.

  14. I usually only comment if I have something to say or something in the post interests me. I do sometimes feel guilty about not commenting if I don’t have anything to add though! πŸ™‚

    Take care

  15. I usually only comment if I have something to say or something in the post interests me. I do sometimes feel guilty about not commenting if I don’t have anything to add though! πŸ™‚

    Take care

  16. I will admit to not commenting every time I read a blog. Sometimes I don’t agree with the post and don’t feel like making waves, or just don’t have the time to adequately distill my thoughts into something coherent.

    Sometimes I also feel like I am about to give advice that may or may not be welcome, so I just tell myself to keep my virtual mouth shut.

    Other times, I just don’t really connect to the subject matter of the post. I generally don’t like to leave a comment unless I feel like I am adding something meaningful or useful to the discussion.

    Then there’s just the matter of time. I have about 40 blogs I like to check in on. No way do I have time to comment regularly on all of them anymore. I’m doing good if I comment on most sites once or twice a week.

  17. I will admit to not commenting every time I read a blog. Sometimes I don’t agree with the post and don’t feel like making waves, or just don’t have the time to adequately distill my thoughts into something coherent.

    Sometimes I also feel like I am about to give advice that may or may not be welcome, so I just tell myself to keep my virtual mouth shut.

    Other times, I just don’t really connect to the subject matter of the post. I generally don’t like to leave a comment unless I feel like I am adding something meaningful or useful to the discussion.

    Then there’s just the matter of time. I have about 40 blogs I like to check in on. No way do I have time to comment regularly on all of them anymore. I’m doing good if I comment on most sites once or twice a week.

  18. I almost never comment when there are already a lot of comments. I can’t imagine ever reading all the comments if it were my blog, let alone actually thinking about them (perhaps it’s just my limited intellect here). I head for the less commented on sites and I become rather pissed when they become popular.
    Sometimes, I just don’t comment for lack of any great insight (which would lead you to believe that I never comment wouldn’t it?)…unless there are no comments. For example, I probably would not have commented on this post EXCEPT for the fact that it showed 0 (ZERO) comments which is like waving a red flag in my face. And so I go to leave a comment and you already have some -crap, still not first past the post.
    Oh – and fewer pictures with kittens please.
    Wow, what a sense of power here – did you make any promises to actually follow these requests???
    Possible improvements: send small tokens of your gratitude to consistent commentors (perhaps you can get bulk shipping rates??)
    DinoD

  19. Cool. It does still show zero comments. Has anyone else noticed a conspiratorial correlation between when Blogger goes down is timely with when TypePad has some crazy issue?

    Thanks TypePad for letting me spend my $5.00 a month on you when instead I could have saved that money for an IUI…in 33 years, which would only put me at 72 years old.

  20. DD, your house sounds like my house. Dishes pile for a few days and are washed on “as needed” basis. Toys in every room, dog and cat hair all over because when you vacuum (once a week if i’m lucky) it comes right back. At least I try to fix things (like the window screen the outdoor cat pushed through, and the screen door a child kicked in). Ah well, working mothers need time to relax too don’t we?

  21. DD, your house sounds like my house. Dishes pile for a few days and are washed on “as needed” basis. Toys in every room, dog and cat hair all over because when you vacuum (once a week if i’m lucky) it comes right back. At least I try to fix things (like the window screen the outdoor cat pushed through, and the screen door a child kicked in). Ah well, working mothers need time to relax too don’t we?

  22. I don’t comment nearly enough since I started using bloglines. I’m making it a personal goal to comment a lot more on blogs. Comments are important, otherwise we might as well keep a paper diary. The other thing I’m going to start doing is clicking on more google ads. Why not help out the bloggers that I read? I just put them on my site and I realized that I rarely click on other people’s, so why should anyone click on mine? If it is interesting to me, I’m going to click.

  23. I don’t comment nearly enough since I started using bloglines. I’m making it a personal goal to comment a lot more on blogs. Comments are important, otherwise we might as well keep a paper diary. The other thing I’m going to start doing is clicking on more google ads. Why not help out the bloggers that I read? I just put them on my site and I realized that I rarely click on other people’s, so why should anyone click on mine? If it is interesting to me, I’m going to click.

  24. Just testing to see if TypePad remembers me…

  25. I comment when I’m not being a total lazy asshole. Which is most of the time.

    I don’t comment usually unless I’ve really got something to contribute (in my head, that is.) I never comment on the “biggies” anymore, ’cause there’s nothing to say that hasn’t already been said.

    That’s why I stick among my peeps.

  26. Amazing, I blogged about my crocs and got not a single comment!

  27. Amazing, I blogged about my crocs and got not a single comment!

  28. If I don’t have the time to read all my favorite blogger posts, or I don’t have much to say about the subject, I don’t post. When I do post, I prefer to keep it short and concise. I’m really busy, ya know?

    You see- that’s why a simple post about Crocs got so many short comments. There are a lot of busy people out there. They do want to contribute to the fun in short bursts.

    What is it about me that you would like to know more about? Hmmmmmm…. Sex life? Local gossip? Wild fantasies?

    What would you like to know less about? Not that you talk about it… The contents of your toilet perhaps?

  29. This has been a real concern of mine lately–not about my own site, but rather my own behavior…I just don’t comment as much as I used to. I hate it, because I nearly always have something to say, but with my new schedule (work-school-bed-work) I barely have time to answer email, and I usually read my Bloglines meaning to go back and comment when I have more time, and then I forget. I am hoping when the busy season at work ends in the fall, and I am no longer working seventy hours and spending 20 hours on schoolwork, I will be back to my commenting self.
    In the meantime, though, it sucks not to be as involved in the discussions. I really miss it!

  30. I don’t always comment once I’ve become a regular. Sometimes I skip it because I don’t feel like signing in or doing the verification (I’m lazy that way) and sometimes it is because I don’t have anything to add (especially if someone has a lot of comments on the post already – some really big ones I almost never comment on because when I’m #87 I figure I can’t possibly have anything to add).
    But if it is someone who I read often and I haven’t commented in awhile, I will drop a comment just to let them know I am still reading and still thinking of them.
    I will also comment almost every time on someone’s blog who gets only 1 or 2 comments per post – I feel like they need the love!

  31. I don’t always comment once I’ve become a regular. Sometimes I skip it because I don’t feel like signing in or doing the verification (I’m lazy that way) and sometimes it is because I don’t have anything to add (especially if someone has a lot of comments on the post already – some really big ones I almost never comment on because when I’m #87 I figure I can’t possibly have anything to add).
    But if it is someone who I read often and I haven’t commented in awhile, I will drop a comment just to let them know I am still reading and still thinking of them.
    I will also comment almost every time on someone’s blog who gets only 1 or 2 comments per post – I feel like they need the love!

  32. DD – First of all… I I guess kind of happy for you that things weren’t so hideous with Her on the weekend. I have my own She, so I know where you’re coming from.

    A really interesting discussion goingon here. I do feel a biut guilty when I don’t comment on every post (particular my favourite blogs), but its simply not possible.. the bloggy circle just gets bigger and bigger.

    Bloglines is good though. At least that way I get everything read.

    I don’t comment on the “biggies” either anymore. Only if I feel really compelled. Which is rare.

  33. DD – First of all… I I guess kind of happy for you that things weren’t so hideous with Her on the weekend. I have my own She, so I know where you’re coming from.

    A really interesting discussion goingon here. I do feel a biut guilty when I don’t comment on every post (particular my favourite blogs), but its simply not possible.. the bloggy circle just gets bigger and bigger.

    Bloglines is good though. At least that way I get everything read.

    I don’t comment on the “biggies” either anymore. Only if I feel really compelled. Which is rare.

  34. I totally don’t get it either. After someone gets 100 comments…just stop. They aren’t going to read yours!

    I don’t comment on every post but I do read them. I comment whenever I feel like I have something to share that someone else hasn’t already said.

    I love your blog and I have no recommendations to you except to keep doing what you’re doing. You are honest and to the point and talk about the deeper things in life. I love coming here.

  35. I totally don’t get it either. After someone gets 100 comments…just stop. They aren’t going to read yours!

    I don’t comment on every post but I do read them. I comment whenever I feel like I have something to share that someone else hasn’t already said.

    I love your blog and I have no recommendations to you except to keep doing what you’re doing. You are honest and to the point and talk about the deeper things in life. I love coming here.

  36. Comments is a great subject to ponder! For those I’ve grown to luv & feel a close kinship with, and for those I relate to, I will almost always post a comment. This is like a huge AA meeting, where we’ve all come to support each other. But there will be times when I stumble across one of “those big name bloggers” and although she may have hit home with her post, I will not comment. Why? 2 main reasons, first, they have enugh to read & second, lil ol’ me? ppffftt!! When I first started blogging, I would read one blog daily & always commented. Then I got feeling a tad snubbed. She never once would reply to my comments or come visit me. Trivial, I know, but she isn’t even one of those “big-time bloggers”. IMHO, I think manners are a wonderful thing, but rapidly fading.
    I luv your blog & admire your strength for what you go thru. So no recs from me. I luv you, in a non-weird way! πŸ™‚

  37. Comments is a great subject to ponder! For those I’ve grown to luv & feel a close kinship with, and for those I relate to, I will almost always post a comment. This is like a huge AA meeting, where we’ve all come to support each other. But there will be times when I stumble across one of “those big name bloggers” and although she may have hit home with her post, I will not comment. Why? 2 main reasons, first, they have enugh to read & second, lil ol’ me? ppffftt!! When I first started blogging, I would read one blog daily & always commented. Then I got feeling a tad snubbed. She never once would reply to my comments or come visit me. Trivial, I know, but she isn’t even one of those “big-time bloggers”. IMHO, I think manners are a wonderful thing, but rapidly fading.
    I luv your blog & admire your strength for what you go thru. So no recs from me. I luv you, in a non-weird way! πŸ™‚

  38. I don’t comment on everything. Especially when someone else has already said what I was thinking (usually worded better than I could), or when I don’t have any answers/experience/knowledge of the subject. If I don’t have anything meaningful to add, I don’t.

    Plus, I have a big problem getting comments to go through – that word verification on so many blogs (my own included) trips me up a lot. If I try to comment and the little word-picture actually shows up, I figure my comment was meant to be. If it takes more than 3 refreshes to leave a comment, I figure it’s the universe telling me that what I had to say really wasn’t that important.

  39. I don’t comment on everything. Especially when someone else has already said what I was thinking (usually worded better than I could), or when I don’t have any answers/experience/knowledge of the subject. If I don’t have anything meaningful to add, I don’t.

    Plus, I have a big problem getting comments to go through – that word verification on so many blogs (my own included) trips me up a lot. If I try to comment and the little word-picture actually shows up, I figure my comment was meant to be. If it takes more than 3 refreshes to leave a comment, I figure it’s the universe telling me that what I had to say really wasn’t that important.

  40. I used to comment on blogs I read a lot more, but there are times more and more that I don’t. I know there are some people whose blogs I read regularly who are offended by that – they somehow think I don’t agree with them, or I don’t like them. It’s not that – it’s more comments from people I used to consider friends who would then blow up about whatever I had commented. That, and I always considered it ok to say if my opinion differed from that of the blogger. More and more, I just don’t even bother, because it turns into blog drama if you don’t agree with everything the writer says.

  41. I used to comment on blogs I read a lot more, but there are times more and more that I don’t. I know there are some people whose blogs I read regularly who are offended by that – they somehow think I don’t agree with them, or I don’t like them. It’s not that – it’s more comments from people I used to consider friends who would then blow up about whatever I had commented. That, and I always considered it ok to say if my opinion differed from that of the blogger. More and more, I just don’t even bother, because it turns into blog drama if you don’t agree with everything the writer says.

  42. I rarely comment on people I’ve just started reading. I also don’t usually comment unless I feel like I have something to add. And I never comment on the massively popular ones like Dooce.

  43. I rarely comment on people I’ve just started reading. I also don’t usually comment unless I feel like I have something to add. And I never comment on the massively popular ones like Dooce.

  44. I think it really depends on who’s blog you are talking about. I, like Jo, don’t normally comment unless I have something relevent to say. I also tend to keep quiet on blogs I just started reading. HOWEVER, when you are talking about a blog like Dooce who only opens the comments about once a week or less, people just feel the need to put something up to say hey, look at me… I’m here, I read this blog. (Yes that is sometimes me… I’m awful!!)

  45. I think it really depends on who’s blog you are talking about. I, like Jo, don’t normally comment unless I have something relevent to say. I also tend to keep quiet on blogs I just started reading. HOWEVER, when you are talking about a blog like Dooce who only opens the comments about once a week or less, people just feel the need to put something up to say hey, look at me… I’m here, I read this blog. (Yes that is sometimes me… I’m awful!!)

  46. I don’t talk all the time in real life, so why would I on blogs? I much prefer waiting until I actually have something _I_ consider worth saying. It comes from never being able to get a word in edgewise as a kid, I think.

  47. I don’t talk all the time in real life, so why would I on blogs? I much prefer waiting until I actually have something _I_ consider worth saying. It comes from never being able to get a word in edgewise as a kid, I think.

  48. I’m late to this. But, mostly I comment. Don’t I? I mean, I read everything eventually. Sometimes I forget or get distracted. Sorry.

  49. I’m late to this. But, mostly I comment. Don’t I? I mean, I read everything eventually. Sometimes I forget or get distracted. Sorry.


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