Posted by: DD | September 11, 2006

no. 270 – Invite

There are a million things I don’t know, nor do I want to…I think. How do I know if I don’t know what they are? Plus, isn’t that what Google is for?

Here’s what I do know: a new house sucks. Sure, there’s all the NEWNESS and all, but with that came my instant transformation into a New House Nazi, and being a New House Nazi is no fun at all. For the first several weeks living here, I would sweep the tile floor at least twice a day; I would vacuum a couple times a week; I would make the beds every morning and I would wipe down the kitchen counter tops every time I walked by or was in the kitchen. Coasters were fastened with rivets to the bottoms of every glass and soda can within arms reach and the crumbs on the dining table were carefully swept into the mini dust pan with the matching mini brush.

But I’ve noticed I’ve become a little more relaxed. It started simply enough. Not enough time to fix the beds in the morning, so I only fix ours. What’s the point of vacuuming? No one comes over, living in the "boonies" and all. After a couple of days had passed and the kitchen stool became temporarily stuck to the tile, I finally mopped up the syrup that X has a knack for drizzling onto the floor when eating pancakes or waffles or bacon (mmmm-mm, bacon and syrup!). And the crumbs from the table are swept onto the floor with a brush of the hand until sometime during the weekend they can be swept up.

I also know that whoever the moron was that thought black appliances would be better than stainless, because "stainless shows fingerprints" [said with a very nasaly whine] needs to have their ass hairs plucked one-by-one, and my dear friends, I am not the one with the ass hairs in this household of three and the other subject is 4. Picture one black sink and what happens when hard water is introduced. Yeah. Not pretty.

So now that I’m over being a NHN, who wants to come over some weekend before the snow starts to fly?



  1. How about a multi-state tour? I’ll come there before the snow flies and you come here after the snow flies! Montana is oh so much more fun in the winter. Except for the whole really cold and ice on the roadway thing.

    Can it be called a tour with only 2 people?

  2. I’ll come, I’ll come!!

    We were the same way when we moved in – I made everyone crazy trying to keep everything “move-in perfect”. Don’t touch that! Wipe this off, you left prints! Don’t you dare eat in there! No, you can not use THAT bathroom!

    After about 2 months I realized that a house is not a home unless you can live in it.

  3. Ha! Not me! Hello move-in dust! I clean when I can & don’t kill myself if it doesn’t sparkle like the top of the Chrysler building. Hey! Since I live sssooo close to N*orfolk & all, we should get together & compare barstool grunge! 🙂

  4. me!me!me!

    I never admitted this before online, but I swirl with grunge like Pigpen.

  5. Oooh, Cricket, you sound like my kinda gal! Rawr!

  6. Funny how fast the newness wears off! But that’s what makes it a home! Our house is a mess. Not scary-call-children-services mess but mail-on-the-table-in-large-piles and shoes-never-go-upstairs kind of mess. Such is life!

  7. My house is a hidden mess… it appears tidy, but should anyone dare open a drawer or closet — tee hee hee.

  8. I felt that way about my car when we first got it and that wore off quite quickly. The poor house never even got unpacked… while each day I still consider it new – now I consider it lived in. Just parts of it are still uninhabited. I’ll come for a visit – I’m familiar with the boonies – I live in them too…

  9. Sounds like fun. You like margaritas? I’ll bring the fixins.

    Glad you’re relaxing into your new digs. You made me sweat just THINKING of all that sweeping and cleaning! Ugh.

  10. Jessie up there misled you. The only thing about Montana in the winter that is great is the blue sky. Remember the new carpet I had installed a month ago? I walk around with a spray can of cleaner and a rag and look for little dirt marks to zap. My life is such fun.

  11. I am not a neat person by nature. Whenever we move somewhere, I am hyper clean for a few weeks and then I’m back to my old self… That’s why I hate moving – it’s too much upheaval to my personality. 🙂

  12. I was NHN with my first New House. Now, I’m pretty much the slob I was born to be.

  13. I’m impressed you kept up the housekeeping as long as you did. We’ve been living with builders so logn I’ve forgotten what the kitchen floor looks like without a layer of dust on it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: