Posted by: DD | September 16, 2006

no. 274 – Amazing: More Than Just An Aerosmith Song

In the course of a normal day, I am exposed to amazing stuff. Some of it is amazing in the way technology can help people that were unheard of just a couple of years ago. For example, do you know someone who suffers from vet3rbral fr@ctures due to 0ste0p0rosis? If so, you should research this relatively new procedure. It’s fascinating in it’s overall simplicity. Mr. DD was impressed that patients go home generally within 24 hours.

Unfortunately, as amazing that is in a good way, I’ve recently found several amazingly STUPID things by total chance.

1)  I use to be a barmaid (back when I was young, svelte and pretty frickin’ stupid – ok – more stupid). I even do partake in some occasional drinking. You’ve probably read somewhere my recipe for my favorite drink of all time: Colorado Bulldog (shot kahlua, shot vodka, fill w/coke, top w/cream). I have also seen some crazy recipes for drinks that overall make me wonder how drunk one had to be to even think about putting a flavor of one thing together with a completely unrelated flavor, much less remember it in case it should actually not cause one to vomit in the bowl of complimentary peanuts.

So when a friend of mine was describing a drink to me, I told her it sounded much like a Dr. Pepper. No, not the soda version. This version. Did you notice the warnings within the recipe? No? Go back and read it again.

Never in all my years have I heard of someone swallowing a shot glass; or, lighting themselves in a great, big, rum-ball of fire? You have to assume the only reason those warnings were given is because someone actually has done both.

2)  Did you know a goldfish bowl is an instrument of torture? I love animals, not necessarily as much as the next person, but "torture" seems to be a little overkill.

3)  Want an easy way to see if your child is ready for a dog (speaking of my love of animals)? Then you should go out right now and pick up Barbie and her dog Tanner (click on the first video on the left for an amazing and lifelike demo!).

I guess this won’t be much help in trying to train your dog not to eat his own poop.

4)  If either you or your S.O. have an unnatural love of jerky – cause who doesn’t?! you should review the informative guides offered on this site. I would hazard a guess that these are the same guys who either lit each other on fire coming up with the perfect Dr. Pepper drink and/or swallowed the shot glass. I did enjoy the Hunting Hand Signals. You think they might take on a special request and see if they can come up with a hand signal for infertility? It might take a 5-6 Blow Jobs, but as long as I can participate in the joviality, I’m all for it.

5)  And finally, Mr. DD was watching TV today and came across this program called Bible Man. Unfortunately, I missed it (I was too busy writing this post) even though I’m sure I get the jist of the show, just by its title, but here are some awesome highlights. My fave? "If it’s worth doing, it’s worth OVER-doing!" ~ Prince of Pride

Surely, after reading through them, you’ll have a favorite, too!



  1. Prince of Pride: [while being electrocuted by Bibleman] … This almost feels good!
    [he explodes]

    Nothing like a little S&M to end your day LOL

  2. How did I miss Bible Man in the theatre, or on the Academy Awards? When I was on a business trip in Europe a few months ago, one of the people on the trip had a bag of Omaha Steaks beef jerky. At random times throughout the trip she’d be gnawing on what appeared to be a bottomless bag of the stuff. Like on the bus from the beach on a greek island sitting next to the woman who looked like the crazy grandma in My Big Fat Greek Wedding or during a business meeting. I’m sure our Greek colleagues had fun with that one talking about the weird American branch of the company where we carry around dried meat for meetings.

  3. Because we are such fabulous people, my husband and I were glancing through the New York Bartender’s Guide last night (yes, yes, a Friday night) and quizzing each other on the ingredients in certain drinks. Gimlet? Bull Shot? Irish Car Bomb? (That one actually was not included…nor was a Cement Mixer, which has most likely done in a few bowls of complimentary peanuts).

    In any event, we stumbled upon a drink whose ingredients included cold beef bouillion. To be fair, the drink in its entirety sounded like the consumme version of a Bloody Mary, but if I want my cocktail to drink like a stew, I’ll have Bermuda Fish Chowder with Sherry Peppers, thank you very much.

  4. Ys! Bibleman! Our local roller skating rink (don’t ask) is owned by a Christian collective, and it was there that I managed to pick up a heaps of Bibleman flyers. What a discovery! They amused me so much that I pinned them to my pinboard at work.

  5. For your No. 1… check this one out:
    “More fun that lighting farts!”

  6. Good grief, woman, it’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking a hot beverage when I read the Dr Pepper directions. I’d have some awful burns!

    One of my favorite drinks as a mere child (in my early 20s) was the fabulous Mind Eraser. I think it’s your Colarado Bulldog without the cream. You drink it through a straw very quickly. It does as advertised.

  7. I LOVE Colorado Bulldogs! I have a hard time ordering them outside of CO though, I’m glad to know it’s not really a state specific thing.

  8. HAH! I work for the company that makes slim jims…we spent hours Thursday night assembling snapalopes for an employee appreciation day. PITA. Lemme tell ya. But they were cute. And we won, which is all that really matters, right?

  9. I have a friend who came in to the bar I frequent one day with his mouth scabbed over. He doesn’t really remember how it happened but it did involve a flaming shot of alcohol. Proves my theory that boys are dumb.

    The most mortifying thing about Bibleman? It is Willie Ames former actor in shows like 8 is enough and Charles in Charge.

  10. I’d really just like to know who thought it was a good idea to market a toy dog that eats treats and poops. It is just wrong. What kid would want that? Thanks for the link to the Blow Job recipe, though. It’s beem years since I had one of those. Yum!

  11. LMAO over that Barbie. WTF?! I saw that on tv the other day and did a double take because of course they could not actually have that dog doing what I think it is doing. My boys are totally repulsed because they clean up after our dogs in the back yard and to think someone would want to do that for fun?! LOL.

  12. I used to love BullDogs, but man they can leave a nasty hangover. I think it must be the Kaluah.

    When I was in Greece one time, I had this drink called a Saigon bomb. It cured me from ever having a boilermaker . . . Ever. Again.

  13. Thanks for sharing a few drinks that don’t make me miss alcohol in the least.

    Also, reading through the Bibleman quotes was sort of like a bad acid flashback to Christian school for me. I think the movie would be too much for me.

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