Posted by: DD | September 21, 2006

no. 276 – Say No to Fur


3_24_091806_baby_suspect Did anyone else notice that the composite picture of the woman who kidnapped the baby in Missouri looks remarkably like B. Spears?

OK, sure, minus the femalestache. Of course, why in the world would Spears need to steal any baby when she apparently is quite capable of producing them in her own secret laboratory (which used to be her sound studio, but we know she certainly doesn’t need it for that anymore!)?

Actually, the reason I brought up the picture of the abductor is because I had been hearing a lot about this femalestache. So I was quite alarmed today when I noticed a very visible shadow on my upper lip! I leaned over the sink and there they were: tiny dark hairs on either side of my upper lip. More frightening was the profile view of said lip. Yikes!

So I guess the stereotyping of baby-snatching and mama-maiming that the press so enjoys associating with infertiles needs to include hirsute-lipped as well.

Any advice on how I can disguise myself? Which is better waxing, bleaching, shaving or electrolysis? Tell me I’m not alone here.



  1. You are SO not alone. Waxing is my method of choice.

    Have you read the latest on the snatcher? That they are trying to determine if she was ever really pregnant?

    Such a sad story.

  2. You’re not alone.

    Wax, wax and more wax.

    Oh, and a pair of tweezers can be a girl’s best friend.

    I actually have nightmares over ending up in a coma and not being able to tweeze…

  3. Dear Gnarly Troll
    Aren’t trolls supposed to have a lot of hair?
    My favourite part of the reporting on the baby snatcher was that all the media characterized her as “carrying to term and then having a miscarriage”. Ah, even I can spot the error there (quick study that I am).

  4. I use Nair for Face.

  5. My name is Pamplemousse and I am a waxer.

  6. Well if it’s an affordable option to you Laser Hair Removal gets my vote.

    If not, waxing is the next best thing. Coming from someone who has waxed for years I would recommend getting some professional quality wax and doing it yourself. It’s quick, easy and nearly painless. A once a month waxing appt with yourself should keep the hair at bay! 😉

  7. I am secretly a man, and only posing as an infertile female. My ‘stache and beard have become completely out of hand. I had been Nair-ing and tweezing for years (waxing never worked for these bristles). One day, in a fit of frustation, I shaved.
    NEVER, EVER SHAVE. Ever. That will become your only option (unless laser or electrolysis is affordable).
    Good luck, my fuzzy friend.

  8. Okay! One problem I don’t have!

    I’m sending you kisses, smooth kisses.

  9. That is hilarious! When I saw those photos I thought it was BS in disguise to avoid publicity or something.

    I have to say that infertile women get the same treatment as birthmothers – they’re stalkers who will do anything to get that baby (back in the case of birthmothers). Here’s why – that’s all the media reports on. Does the media report on blogs such as yours? You have your pain about this issue and you express it. You are not psychotic. You would never slit another woman’s throat for her baby. For these reasons, you are not news worthy. Would the media ever report on our adoptive situation? No. It doesn’t include kidnappings, druggings or maimings. It’s just loving. No news there. There are sick people out there and they take up all forms. Stop stereotyping an entire group based up one or two nut jobs!

    Now, that being said, where was this mustache woman when I begged God to take me home and Ally was colicky? Ha!

  10. I thought I was the only one. You have the “stache, I can grow a goatee to rival my husband. Should we have a competition? Who can grow the most and be brave enough to post on their blog.
    I pluck, never had success doing the waxing on my legs other then peeling skin off so I am not going to attempt that on my face. At least when I rip the skin off my legs I can wear pants or a long skirt until it heals, I really can’t walk around at work with a bandana on my face like an old time bandit. 😉
    Good luck today!

  11. I use a Surgicream for faces and tweezers. You are SO not alone.

  12. If I didn’t tweeze, I’d have a full on goatee. Especially now that I’m on extra progesterone. Tweezing is the best, but you have to do it a few times a week, barring the time for that, I’d go with waxing.

  13. Just remember, I’m laughing with you, not at you.

    My vote is for tweezing if there’s just a few, waxing if you’ve got the full ‘stache. I prefer to wax at night so I can sleep off the oh-so-attractive blotchy and swollen look. Uh… not that I’m hairy.

    .. and this post reminded me of what I wanted to blog about today.

  14. You are not alone that’s forsure! My vote is for waxing!

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