Posted by: DD | September 27, 2006

no. 281 – If It’s Not One Thing…

I woke up an hour this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.

Even though I woke up early, by the time I was supposed to leave the house so I could get to work on time I was just applying my mascara.

I sneezed right after I applied the mascara. Fuck. Start over because I now look like this.

Only 10 minutes late for work and sit down to log onto my computer. The keyboard doesn’t work. Apparently someone in housekeeping is taking night classes in Information Technology and learning what happens when you accidentally unplug something and then try to plug it back into the wrong place.

My morning "constitution" had to take place at work.

It is there I notice I have my underwear on inside out. AGAIN!

I also find out that the toilet is temperamental and it takes flushes. All of which are audible from one end to the hall to the other.

It’s only 11:00 a.m.

Updates sure to follow.



  1. I think I would go home sick…

  2. I hate it when Monday falls in the middle of the week.

  3. Hope your day gets better!

  4. Reminds me of a comic strip that my dad had cut out of the paper and given to me.

    “The Born Loser” shows Brutus sitting at his desk in bin overflowing, crumpled papers strewn about…. the caption reads:
    “It’s been Monday all week”

  5. Don’t you wish you could just go back to bed on days like these? I feel for you. Taking constitutionals at work is horrible – waiting to be alone… wondering how long you’ll be alone, etc.

    I hope that your day vastly improved!

  6. Holy Moses, Batman! ALL before 11am?? I am truly so very sorry… but that is funny, no?

  7. Suggestion: all the trolls that I know sew a tiny little piece of velcro to the *outside* of their underwear thereby ensuring they avoid spending those innumerable hours each day figuring out which way their underwear is supposed to go on and if they err, the scratching of the velcro will serve notice before they leave the house.
    Now I am not saying that you need to ruin your underwear this way but it seems you are establishing some sort of trend.
    Good luck tomorrow

  8. Helpful tip:

    Tomorrow (and hereafter) take a stick from your yard into work with you. You can then use it to, er, break things up when you have to drop a deuce at work. (Or at least that’s what a mother of three told me today about how she deals with her five-year-old’s bowl busters.)

    Also, have you tried skipping the underwear? Might help get you to work on time, too. Just a thought.

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