Posted by: DD | October 27, 2006

no. 304 – Inconclusive

I wish I could say "Good news! We saw a heartbeat."

…but I can’t.

We saw only an empty 6mm gestational sac.

I wish I could say "My beta number continues to be strong!"

…but I can’t.

Current beta is 3755, increasing the doubling time from 39 to 50 hours (48 is average and desired).

The sonographer asked if I have had any pain. Not an encouraging sign. We were also supposed to get the scan done and then my OB wanted to see me as well to double-check (I decided to have the scan done at my OB’s clinic instead of driving to the Metro or at the local hospital). She didn’t have us stay to meet with the OB.

I haven’t heard back yet from the clinic, but my guess is that they will have me go in for another scan and if there’s still no heartbeat, it will be over.

I am devastated because I just needed this ultrasound to prove to me that all my worrying and crying has been for nought. All it has done is prolong my misery until he next time and the longer I continue through this unknown hell, the more unhealthy it is for me mentally and physically.

I need to recoup my sanity. I need to beat the odds. I need another miracle.

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Responses

  1. I am so sorry things weren’t more certain. A few facts:
    Once your beta reaches 1200, doubling time is supposed to be 72-96 hours. Also, as you are only 5w6d (right?) it is very early to see much on ultrasound. Your sac diameter and beta numbers are consistent with the embryonic age. Also, they say a yolk sac should definitely be visible by the time you have a 8-10 mm gestational sac, and you aren’t there yet.
    Obviously this doesn’t mean that things are going to work out, but right now there is no reason to believe they won’t, so I will keep hoping for you. Feel free to call if you need distraction. Mwah.

  2. Oh DD, I will be hoping for a miracle to happen. I am so sad that this wasn’t a great and conclusive scan, but will continue to hope for the best.

  3. oh. my. I’m choosing to be in denial right now and am going to believe everything Alexa says, because she is wicked smart and slight obsessive.

  4. I’ll keep hoping & praying for you all.

  5. Oh how disappointing, I know how you feel (and boy I wish I didn’t have the ability to say that). There is still hope, but I’m not going to push it because I know how that feels. I’m sorry it wasn’t more conclusive. hang in there.

  6. Oh, DD, how I was hoping that you’d get super-reassuring news today. I’m so sorry it’s inconclusive. That’s sheer agony. I wish I could give you a hug and make the coming days pass by in a flash.

    Much love.

  7. Oh DD! What hell.

  8. DD, I wanted so much for you to be wrong, that the worst thing you had to face was being wrong. I am so sorry.

    Why is this so easy for the rest of the world?

  9. I’m sorry, DD. This just bites.

  10. white light, DD, white light.

  11. This is so hard. I will keep praying for a turnaround and some good news.

  12. Still hoping.

  13. May you get that miracle. Hang in there. How awful to have to wait yet again.

    Limbo sucks. Still, hoping for you here too.

  14. FUUUUUCK. (Holding my breath for you now.)

  15. Go Alexa with the stats! I’m gonna keep holding my breath & pray for you to get your miracle, hun.

  16. Sorry you have to wait. I’m keeping my hopes up for you!

  17. I wish you could have gotten the reassurance you needed. I will still be hoping for good news for you.

  18. I don’t know what to say, really. This just sucks. I must say that I can back-up Alexa – a good friend of mine had the exact same thing happen and her dr. told her, after the inconclusive ultrasound, that he doesn’t like to do an u/s too early for this reason. Not that this helps and sorry if it doesn’t but it was the first thing that crossed my mind. I will be thinking of you much in the next few days and hoping time can pass quickly. I really wanted this to be “easy” for you this time. How much can a person take???

  19. Why the hell did they send you for an ultrasound this early? The only thing you should reliably see this early is a gestational sac and you saw it. (Did they tell you if it was spherical?)
    Also, your HCG is good – it should be slowing down from the previous results. Yes, it was low to start with but the doubling time is way more important and you are on track there – whoever said it should be taking at least 72 hours now is right.
    Fucking doctors.
    I’m guessing that the ultrasound technician knew how far along you were? Did she appear inebriated?
    You are not in miracle needed territory DD (so far you look fine).
    Ah… apologies about the language here.
    DinoD

  20. Hang in there! Miracles can happen!

  21. Crap. I hate that. Inconclusive ultrasounds just make you feel worse. I’m sorry you have to live with more uncertainty. Hope your next scan brings happier news.

  22. gonna keep hoping through the weekend for you. I hope you don’t mind….

  23. Limbo sucks sucks sucks. I hate that you are still there. It’s a dark horrible place.

    I’m not going to give any false hope, but where I’m sitting something in the uterus looks good to me at this point. Alexa is right. You should see a sac by this time and an hcg of greater than 2000 but you might not see anything else. I think you might have a bit of a late impanter. I’m still holding out hope.

    Here’s to no more limbo after next week. I’ve got everything crossed that you’ll get your miracle.

  24. Check out this abstract: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=2660539&query_hl=3&itool=pubmed_docsum

    You have less than a 50% chance of seeing a yolk sac at your beta level, and should not expect to see a heartbeat. So things are right on target for your beta numbers. I think that there’s still a really good chance that things are fine! Is there any way your dates could be off by a day or two?

  25. *sigh* Thinking of you, my friend. Hoping for better, more definite news soon.

  26. I hate that this was inconclusive.

    Still holding out hope for you, and wishing there was some way I could make the next few days less stressful. I know it’s not possible to NOT stress… but I wish.

  27. Um, what Alexa said. Still, it sucks to not get the reassurance you so deserve. I’m thinking of you and hoping that it’s just too damn early.

  28. I am sorry that you didn’t get the answers you need yet. I’m still sitting here with everything crossed for you.

  29. It may not make you feel any better, but I honestly didn’t expect you to already report a heartbeat today. It seems still early, at least to me (granted I am no expert. I did go through a similar experience, though, when I was pregnant with Miss V). I still have lots of hope for you, DD.

  30. Oh I am hoping so hard for another miracle. I am hoping it was just too early. Fingers and toes all crossed.

  31. I agree with other posters. I have heard that it may be far to early to see a heartbeat.
    Thinking of you. Keep us posted.
    Hugs!

  32. DD hope this may work out yet; I am immensely encouraged reading the other comments and hope you are too … this is so rough. I wish for time to accelerate for you, I know how heartbreaking is it just to wait. Whatever happens, sending love your way and thinking of you a lot.

  33. Limbo: the state of being disregarded or forgotten.an imaginary place for lost or neglected things

    It certainly is the first layer of hell. Sorry you’re there. I hope you ascend soon.

    Whether or not she brought it to you, Alexa gave me hope FOR you — so for what it’s worth, my fingers are crossed and I’m wishing on eyelashes, stars, raindrops, tears… I hope beyond hope that you’re wrong.

  34. I too am hoping it’s simply too early- will be keeping you in my thougths as you wait anxiously for more conclusive results. Bah, waiting sucks ass!! Hugs and take care, Leslie

  35. Okay imagine me going “Yeah it’s in the uterus!” cause that truly is a good thing. As for the lack of a heartbeat I wish it would have shown up, but as Alexa and Dino D said… you appear to be right on target. I’m reserving judgment, but hoping and praying that come next week all is well. I hate limbo and I hate having to wait… I’m sure you feel the same right about now. Take care of yourself… when is the next scan?

  36. Ditto what everyone else said, sweetie. Smooches.

  37. Oh, DD, I’m so sorry. I truly hope that another scan gives you better news.

  38. Oh No! I’ve been out of town for several days and just seeing this. I am so sorry. I’ve been here (empty gest sac) and it is just a horrible place to be. I’m so hoping there will be a miracle next week, but I’m here if you need to talk.

  39. […] run though a forest on five-inch heels. In other words, stranger things have happened, even though they can (and did) end badly. Very […]


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