Posted by: DD | February 5, 2007

no. 377 – One M*ther’s J*urney

Some of you may have noticed today that K3llie from One M*ther’s J*urney has removed her blog. I thought she was taking rather drastic measures to avoid participating in my Music Meme.

Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is her teen-age son found her blog by a completely random accident.

Below is just a snippet from our email exchanges:

There is no anonymity on the internet, and you’re taking a huge risk by putting your thoughts in writing where anyone can read them.

For those who has been "outed" by someone in-real-life, we know that harsh lesson, especially when your blog is a representation of your alter ego, the one you keep tucked away because it represents the most insecure and hurt part of yourself. There are some people IRL who like to feed those demons and then get pissed and indignant when we dare to brain-dump it into our blogs.

She doesn’t know if she’ll start up another blog as she’s still reeling, but she also said that maybe it’s a good thing because now she can "close the book on that chapter." It sucks to have one’s hand forced like that and I truly hope it does end up being for the best. For those of you who read K3llie’s blog, you know that she has quite the wit and intelligence that brings a blog to life, and of course will be missed.

Her email is k3lliesdesigns at gmail dot com (replace the 3 with e). She promises that she is still reading and supporting in her own way.



  1. I wondered what happened and thought blogger was just being a shit. I’m sorry to hear that.

  2. Jeez O Pete. I had not checked on her recently. She’s had far too many chapters close of late; she needed the outlet. Her son is a pretty stand up kid, so I hope that part isn’t too bad.

    Used to be, she was one of my two routine commenters. I miss her for very selfish reasons, of course.

    Okay, need to email her. We still want to be neighbors.

  3. I am scared of someone in my RL finding my blog. I hate the fear that looms over me despite the fact that I know it is just a matter of time.

  4. Yeah, in my case it would be the end of a lot of professional stuff. What I don’t get, is these very same people would not invade an AA meeting, which is totally public, and they certianly would not walk into a support group for infertility and loss, and listen in, again, it’s a public area, yet they are so quick to judge about blogging like this on the net.
    This is just another type of support group…I hope K3llie’s okay, and I hope she starts another blog up and just blocks her kids IP address, or something.

  5. Sadly, one of the very real hazards of the internet. I’d probably be toast if a family member ever found mine.

  6. I can’t imagine how hard that would be; I’m so fearful of being found, especially as I’ve used everyone’s real names and there’s no going back once you’ve decided to do that. I hope that she is able to find another way of expressing herself and getting support.

  7. Jeez. Just how easy is it for someone to find your blog, anyway? I mean, if you want to keep it anonymous and all.

  8. Yikes! That must have been quite a shock. Thanks for letting us know what happened!

  9. I am very nearly the exact same person in real life that I am online. A couple years ago a guy at work purposely searched out my blog even though I asked him not to, so I deleted all posts about work that were questionable and deleted all posts about specific family members. Since then, my blog has been perfectly family- and work-friendly, if not always appropriate for either.

  10. It’s ashame she was found. I hope she comes back…

  11. I’m sad for her–I really liked her blog and she’s had so much to deal with lately, I’m sure it was a good outlet. I live in semi-fear of my family finding my blog. Thanks for telling us. It was quite a surprise to find her gone!

  12. I too thought blogger was just screwing up again…what a shame. My family knows I read blogs but they don’t know I have one. I remember when I was a very little girl my Mom telling me “don’t ever put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want the world to read”..geesh, she didn’t even know about the internet as Al Gore hadn’t invented it yet.

  13. God how mortifying!!! I wonder if her son read her entries, or if when he realized it was his mom he stopped reading.

    In one of the short stories my students read a character read her mother’s journal after her mother passed away. When I asked the students what they would do if they found mom’s diary most of the girls said they would definitely read it, but most of the boys said that they don’t want to know that part of their moms.

  14. Here’s what happened – the “abridged” version anyway. My 17 year old son was at his friends house and they were online looking at pictures on flickr. My son has a somewhat “unique” name and he was looking for a picture another friend had posted of him so he did a search on his name. He not only found the picture but he found ones that *I* had posted and stupidly named (ie mysonsname.jpg). Once he found my flickr account – he did a Google search on the image name and that is how he found my blog.

    Every single thing that was posted from the details of my sex life while we were TTC to the fact that I was in a foster home as a child was read. Everything. Details of my life that I never anticipated my children finding out – details of my life I never anticipated my husband finding out.

    My son felt particularly betrayed by some of the statments I made and stories I told about my ex-husband, his father. Many of the things I posted had never been shared with my kids. Because he felt betrayed, he choose to “bust me” during dinner on Sunday. “Been doing a little blogging lately mom?”

    My husband was aware that I read blogs and had relationships with some fellow bloggers but he didn’t know my blog existed. He was less than impressed that I posted such personal information online for *anyone* to read.

    I deleted my blog because I didn’t want my husband to misunderstand my intentions – my blog was not a way for me to gossip or talk about my family behind their backs. It was very much a survival tool in this past year and while angry – they were never going to understand that. They may someday – perhaps once they start “secret” blogs and learn to rely on the support of others.

    I should have been more careful with some of the things I posted. I shouldn’t have used my children’s names or my husband’s name – when they weren’t even aware it existed. I was wrong for making photos public and not covering my tracks better than I did. I wasn’t wrong for blogging – but I was wrong for giving my family reasons to question my judgement.

    If ever I wanted to run and hide and bury my head in the sand – it was certainly upon the realization that my 17 year old son read details of my cervical mucus and how much better sex has been for me since my hysterectomy.

    I’ll be around again once everything quiets down – I’ll more than likely start another blog. It won’t, however, contain details of the realization that it’s time my son should wash his own sheets or my husband’s inability to “date the cup”.


  15. I pretty much told everyone I know that I have a blog and welcome them to read it- that way I don’t have to hide anything or worry. the only stuff I don’t talk about is my disgust with anyone I DO like and know reads. LOL.

  16. Oh, my. I’m so sorry to hear about Kellie’s son finding out. It is one of my fears, which is why I HOPE I took out all the names from my blog. If not, I’ll have to go through it again.

    Hugs to Kellie. I hope she comes back to blogging and lets us know where she is once that happens.

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