Posted by: DD | February 12, 2007

no. 382 – Recordings (Edited)

These are just some blips about my son I want to record. Just a heads up because I’m not going to try to string this all together in a nice cohesive storyline (like, have I ever?).

First, the things that made me cry:

I was reorganizing one of X’s dresser drawers. In doing so I removed the paper I used to line the bottom, which was actually a remnant of wallpaper used in his room at the other house. It was too slippery and not doing a very good job at what I wanted so I threw it in the trash.

Yesterday afternoon, all three of us were outside since we finally had a decent day (32 degrees F). We were all having fun sledding down the different small slopes surrounding our new house, basically just dirt knolls from unfinished work. Mr. DD decided to start a burn in the barrel and gathered the trash. Once the fire was going at a good clip, I went over to warm up. X was getting tired and was bringing up the sled from his final trip down. Mr. DD picked up the trash can to dump out the loose garbage into the burn barrel and the last thing to come out was the sheet of wallpaper from X’s drawer.

When he saw it, he stopped and stared. And then he said, "That’s from my other place!" Mr. DD didn’t understand the comment, and was stumped when X then ran off to the side of the house crying. It broke my heart because I had forgotten that X is very sensitive and sentimental, especially to things that belonged to or remind him of the other house.


At bedtime, X was still upset about the paper. I explained to him that it was my fault that the paper was in the trash, not Daddy’s (he was very upset with Daddy and refused to speak to him). I told him that night-time is not the time to think about sad things, but to think about what was special about his day (sledding, snow balls, baking choc-chip cookies), and to imagine the wonderful things he could dream about. I threw out some examples: flying like an eagle; racing a car; being a race car; and swimming like a fish.

He asked me what I use to dream about when I was his age, and god help me, but I said, "I dreamed of a perfect, little boy. I dreamed of you." I was able to hold it together until I left his room. Even now, recalling this makes me ache. Because I’m still dreaming. I dream of another perfect little boy. I dream of my lost babies.


I intentionally left this story for last. I didn’t want to end on a sad note.

Friday night, we went out to eat at one of X’s favorite restaurants in town. He ordered a cherry cola, which they serve with maraschino cherries. He doesn’t like the cherries even though Mr. DD tries to convince him that they taste like candy (hell, I don’t even like them). But every time, Mr. DD encourages him to eat one.

Mr. DD pulled out the big guns: "X, if you eat this whole cherry, we will go to Target and I will buy you one new Hot Wheels car."

In anticipation, I waited for him to eat the cherry. He loves his Hot Wheels.

Instead X responded in a most serious voice: "Daddy, I have too many Hot Wheels cars now. No, thank you."

Mr. DD nearly snorted his cola out his nose. And to see X’s stony countenance, made us giggle all the more.


I remembered something else from the weekend:

X was on the basement computer. Mr. DD was down there as well "thinking" about how he wanted to organize his racing crap. I’m upstairs reading. I hear an angry voice. I hear a little, sad voice. More angry, more sad. Angry voice saying, "Go upstairs and tell Mommy what happened."

X comes up very dejected looking. "What happened?" I ask.

"I peed downstairs."

"You peed in your pants?!" I say looking at his gray sweat pants, which look dry.

"No, I peed downstairs."

"On the floor…?"

"No, in the drain."

Mr. DD told me in the details later that he suddenly heard water running and when he turned around, X was peeing into one of the basement drains (the basement is unfinished, but eventually will have a bathroom). I explained to X that until we get a bathroom downstairs, he has to use one of the upstairs bathrooms. He nodded sullenly and asked if he was in trouble. I told him that he could go back downstairs and continue playing on the computer.

I know Mr. DD would have been mad if I had made light of the situation, but it was very hard to keep from laughing. The thing is, X wouldn’t have peed in the drain if he hadn’t seen someone else do it before. Hmmmm, I wonder who that might have been?



  1. I can totally see why you’re at such a difficult place. X sounds like such an intelligent sensitive boy, and I’m sure every mom would want one just like him.

  2. Poor X…missing a place that you’ve called home forever just plain sucks.

    I’m sure that you have photos of X at the other place. Perhaps you could put a few in a book for him or even frame them for his room??

  3. We’ve talked so much about moving and I know it’s an adult decision that we have to make, to do the best we can for us. It still tore me up when The Boy whispered to me that he doesn’t want to move. He likes it here and he likes his house. Sigh. What to do?

  4. Hahahah. Pass ME the cherry. I’ve eaten JARS of them during this pregnancy.

  5. Ah those stories are what make children such wonderful blessings in life!

    Both the sad and the good are such experiences that ever affect our hearts.

    My 11 year old daughter had a surprising moment of sentiment when I was looking for a sweatshirt for her to wear and suggested her gray New York one. She said it didn’t fit anymore, but got all upset when I suggested it become a hand-me-down. “It’s my favorite sweatshirt, I don’t want anyone else to have it.” She looked so sad…I promised to make it into a pillow for her to keep. (Note..she has never been to New York and I can’t remember where she got the shirt in the first place!)

  6. You remind me of how much I wish I’d started to blog earlier!

  7. Ohhhh, little guys like this just make me smile. They remind me of my kids, and wanting more.

  8. OMG…on the peeing downstairs thing…I’m totally dying. We’ve had that problem with Zachary countless times…but once downstairs in the drain RIGHT NEXT TO THE TOILET (he thought it would be more fun, apparently). Once he peed in the trashcan, and once in the tub (not while showering, not that if he HAD been showering, it would be better), and then finally, a couple of times outside on the tree. UM…in front of the neighbor kids.

    Ahhhh…aren’t boys FUN? 🙂

  9. Well, you just better quit peeing down the drains in the basement now, eh? 😉
    Alex had a hard time when we moved from up north down here to hell. He has adjusted well to the move from the trailer to the new house though.
    He will adjust and be fine at the new house.
    Write down your stories so you can embarass him infront of his girlfriends in a few years. 😉

  10. Where, indeed? Dad often pees outside next to his shop and The Boy gets told to go inside. Hmmmmm……

  11. What marvellous stories! Thanks for sharing. My heart is all warm and fuzzy now.

  12. Your X is a special little boy, that’s for sure.

  13. What a wonderful little boy X is.

    Peeing in the drain? How classic!

  14. Oh, DD. I wish we were neighbors. My brothers used to have a room in the basement (no bathroom) and they used to get up in the night and pee in the sump pump hole.


  15. There is nothing like being the mother of boys. I have concluded that they stop growing mentally at about age 14 even though their bodies continue to bloom. My hubby was aghast when he saw son#2 (about age 3) peeing in the bushes-yelled at him and son said–“dad you did it the other day”…what is that saying about the apple and the tree??

  16. I would have laughed too at the peeing in the drain.

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