Posted by: DD | March 29, 2007

no. 411 – Drama! It’s So Nice To See You Again!

I was asked what I really did think of that article regarding Adjective Families (see post no. 410), but I am getting more and more insight and brain-wave-provocation from your comments and emails. What I thought I had firmly in my head is now not so firm, much more ripe-grapefruity with a thin skin. But…I have decided that instead of getting down to brass tacks at this time, that I’d rather stir some shit.

Who doesn’t love a good shit-stirring, anyway?

So this post is dedicated to JCP who spent just a little over three hours on my blog today after her Google search for "I am so pissed that my insurance covers these old bags who need IVF" landed her here. I won’t even go into the comment she left.

Without any name-calling, would anyone like to provide a little education to JCP?

(If I’m being a total whore by publishing this, I hope one of  you old bags with their sanity still intact will let me know. I just don’t feel like playing nice or smart right now, but I will respect your concern and delete the post if you so advise.)

OK. You’ve twisted my arm. Here’s her comment:

I am furious that my health insurance covers this procedure at an exhorbitant cost to my family and my husband’s small business. No one in my husband’s office has ANY need whatsoever for fertility treatments, yet in order to have access to decent quality health insurance, we must also pay for this very optional treatment.  I am sorry, but we all do not share the risk of infertility equally.  I left work at the healthy childbearing age of 29 to have my three children and raise my kids personally, at economic sacrifice.  It angers me greatly that I must now fund those women who continued to pursue caree objectives well past the viable use of their reproductive organs.  My friend is in this category.  She tried health-insurance covered IVF many times unsuccessfully, and finally used an egg doner.  She conceived twins, a boy and a girl.  The boy was found to have a hole in his heart within 48 hours of birth, and required major surgery at the age of 6 months to survive.  (The most extensive study to date, done in Australia, indicates that IVF births have twice the rate of serious birth defects of natural births.)The girl is now a screaming maniac 4 year old,absolutely nothing like my sweet-natured friend or her gentle husband, the biological father.  Her personality begs the question…..who is the genetic mother of this child?  Humankind could be so much better served by adoption when couples are unable to conceive.  I fear for a society so captivated by the aggressive promotion of a multi-billion dollar infertility industry.  Shame on us all.

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Responses

  1. I’m an old bag, but I have not done IVF, so I’ll generally reserve comments, except to say that JCP should essentially consider it the old bag equivalent to viagra coverage. Go bitch out some old man.

  2. Just another old bag here. However, to educate her a little (if that’s possible) a lot of young women need the assistance of IVF. She needs to get a life.

  3. Two things:

    I was 29 when I did IVF. Is that an old bag? I’m just curious what the age range is here (my legal dictionary, curiously enough, lacks a definition).

    My insurance didn’t cover IVF, but it did cover my pregnancy & delivery–which cost almost exactly the same as my IVF cycle. So I would hope, in the spirit of fairness, that JCP also begrudges all bags (old or otherwise) whose insurance offers any maternity coverage.

  4. Isn’t there some kind of intelligence test you have to pass before you can get on the internet? Sigh…I wish my insurance would cover IVF for my “old bag” (34) self.

  5. All I can say is WOW! Truly get a life JCP! You have NO CLUE what life is like on this side of the rainbow. For sure not a pot of gold!

  6. Oh please do share the comment. Does she have a blog? I’d love to stop by and spread the love.

  7. I started infertility treatments when I was 23. She can kiss my ass.

    Oh how I wish we could share her comment with her “friend”! I’m sure she would enjoy learning how this person describes her daughter.

    Once again, to make my point clear JCP, You can kiss my needle scarred, treatment weight bearing, bitter ass.

  8. Huh? Her friend’s egg donor kid who is not genetically related to her is a screaming maniac…….but she wants us to adopt?

    Huh??

    So we can raise children who are not genetically related to us?

    And if DD is an old bag, well then she is the hottest damn old bag I’ve ever seen.

  9. She was a little narrow in her understanding of who seeks IVF, but I can’t say that I disagree with her reasons. I don’t think that fertility treatments are a good idea for myself of for anyone else, but I only have control over myself. I understand why some people go that route and I don’t have any anger toward them for doing it or toward society for not condemning it. Just because I don’t agree with fertility treatments doesn’t mean that I would actually try to stop anyone from getting them and it doesn’t mean that I am not sympathetic to what you all are going through.

  10. Here’s a thought….. what about having to provide insurance for people no matter the number of children they have? For example, I work for and agency whereby insurance costs per employee are as follows: employee, employee + spouse, employee + child, employee + children. So, whether said employee has two or 12 children, she pays the same? Take a wild guess as to who picks up the tab?? Umm that would be the “rest” of ’em without children who are picking up insurance tabs and paying higher premiums because they have to “balance the load.” That’s how healthcare in this country works, sister.
    Hmmmm… while we’re at it, how about we also stop having businesses provide insurance to those over 50 because they are more likely to result in increased hospital stays with more invasive and higher cost medical procedures? I’m also thinking those with any chronic diseases such as asthma or diabetes (or a family history of) should also be excluded. Higher long term costs for chronic vs acute illnesses. Come on, I’m sure I could give you a million of ’em. You and Bill O’Reilly can single-handedly fix healthcare in the U.S. What next? Feed the hungry to the homeless? Fix two problems at once. GENIUS!
    Truly sister, stop by….. I haven’t really used my Master’s in Public Health with an emphasis in policy and administration recently…. let’s discuss healthcare issues from a policy stance. Oh yeah, and let me know the name of your family business… we’d love to know where NOT to frequent.
    Oh, and JCP? “Humankind could be so much better served by adoption when couples are unable to conceive.” Let me be the first to thank YOU for helping to fund MY recent adoption with YOUR tax dollars. You’re a gem! I’ll be sure to let you know when we decide to bring any more siblings home. I’m sure you won’t mind providing additional financial support 🙂

  11. In response to JCP – yes, all infertile couples are pursuing IVF
    because women are so career focused and put off child bearing. Since
    you’re so up on the research why don’t you take a look at the reports
    on ART and you’ll see the truth. Many couples in their 20’s have
    problems conceiving and for all different reasons – male factor
    particularly those related to cancer treatment, endometriosis, etc.
    Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that most pay for treatment out of
    pocket too, insurance coverage is rare and when offered, quite limited.

    I’m guessing your husband’s company covers smokers and overweight
    people too, they put far more strain on health care costs than
    infertility treatments. And I personally am quite aggravated that my
    health insurance costs keep going up because most of the people in my
    company are fat and sedentary. I hardly think the $5,000 IVF coverage
    is equally comparable to the expenses related to unhealthy lifestyles –
    heart attack, stroke, cancer, diabetes – I’m pretty sure management and
    treatment of those diseases exceed $5,000.

    Humankind is probably best served when people have compassion rather
    than judgment for others. Adoption, IVF, donor egg/sperm, and living
    child-free are all decisions that only a couple can decide is most
    appropriate for them, you don’t have to agree with it but you should
    respect whatever decision people make for themselves.

  12. Wow, I’m entirely post partum hormonal. I think I’ll dig into the old fucking bag who left that comment.

    First of all, just because you’re infertile doesn’t mean that you should be forced to adopt. What about you? Why didn’t you adopt? If there’s nothing wrong with it, then you should have looked into it too. Oh, you say you’re fertile and therefore excused from utilizing this option to create a family? Adoption is a personal choice, for ANYONE who’s looking to start a family, not just someone who’s infertile. Having children, adoption, going through fertility treatments, all personal choices.

    Second, I’m only 31 and have known about my fertility issues since I was 24 and it took me that long to conceive. Without IVF, my healthy son would not be here. And the cost for us to actually get here? It’s insane how much the “business” of fertility treatments cost and I would have totally welcomed the help from my insurance company.

    Third, it’s no one’s fault here that your husbands company “has to” provide insurance coverage for fertility treatments and also no one’s fault here that no one in the company needs to utilize it. We should all be so lucky. Stop being so bitter about it by leaving hurtful comments.

  13. Dearest DD,

    I just have to hog your blog now. I have endometriosis, discovered when I was 21, my first child conceived at 27, (beat her to it, the career obsessed bitch, natch) and my first dead child born at 29. after much stress my second live child was born when I was 32.

    I hardly fuckin’ waited.

    Endometriosis is caused by a combination of factors including a gene defect and dioxin poisoning in the environment. I hope she runs an environmentally friendly business? No?

    She has perfect genes? Not so much?

    In Canada, IVF is rarely covered, but drunk driving accidents always are. Gang shootings, criminals, pedophiles all of them get free and fabulous healthcare. Old people, who have smoked and drank and eaten every twinkie in town and never done even one freakin sit up get all the health coverage they can eat up, even if they never paid one cent in taxes in their lives, and my fertility treatment is never covered.

    (Oh, and the US pays for these same people too, btw, it’s called medicare, and your taxes pay for it, it’s just not called an insurance premium, you renamed it ‘annual deficit’.)

    So the next time you want to introduce the concept of ‘fault’ into the health insurance debate, STEP RIGHT UP honey, because I want you to meet my friends Tara and Steve. Steve has Male Factor IF due to a botched operation when he was a CHILD and they need IVF to concieve. How is that his fault? Or my friend Scarlett, who has a gene defect, she can either do IVF with PGD to get a live baby or deliver endless dead babies over and over again until one lives more than 2 hours after birth.

    As for the comment about donor egg? Well heck, it couldn’t just be random chance? You know, the same random chance that makes children all over the world be badly behaved?

    Gahhhhhh

  14. Hmmmm, Well, that takes ignorance to a whole new level in my eyes. Infertility coverage is actually cheaper to carry then some other forms of coverage, of course I did get that stastic from the latest issues of Concieve (an IF mag) so it might be biased. I am here to tell you that I have know about my infertility since I was 17, and just ecently brought in the big guns. Oh yeah and I HAVE adopted from the foster care system, so she can kiss my ass on that one to!! Ok, that is all I have to say for now, because I will go to far with the name calling at this point……….

  15. Oh shit I almost forgot, I guess I fall in the Old Bag catagory at the age of 34… get a life and stop worrying about how the rest of us live!!!

  16. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again here for the sake of ms jc whatsit, age has nothing to do with infertility, its not only the old that are infertile!

    On top of that I know lots of “old bags” with whom career had nothing to do with it, technology and money did, so by the time the technology and insurance coverage came about they were indeed old and they deserve IVF treatment covered by insurance as much as a young women does.

  17. Just be thankful for what you have that many of us don’t and leave us alone, we’re all suffering enough!

  18. I wonder if this chick is even reading this. Sadly I think these arguments never do anything to persuade the obnoxious writers, regardless of the logic and evidence used. They believe what they want to believe, and they enjoy poking at the rest of us.

    Having said that, Aurelia pretty much summed it up for me.

  19. She left it til she was 29!! Whoa – risky. We started when we were 26. I really think it was irresponsible of her to wait that long.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and check my bank account to see that my fertile countrymen aren’t sucking all the money out of it with their child-related public expenses, and maybe google more stuff relevant to my IVF patient status – see if, after all the googling I’ve already done and all the studies I’ve found to the contrary, I can find anything which supports the “facts” she cites.

    (Does her “friend” consider her a friend?)

    Bea

  20. Oh, almost forgot my Standard reply to flamewars about whether ART is ok or not.

    Bea

  21. I am horrified and speechless. What a nasty, hateful thing that JCP did. And that poor “friend” of hers.

  22. Oh yeah, and those “facts” about IVF birth defects? Where the hey did she get those from?

  23. Well, tell that nasty bitch that I paid for every penny myself (at much personal sacrifice, blah, blah) , and I AM now adopting, AND I do not appreciate that MY small business has to pay for health insurance that does not cover IVF but DOES help fund the childbirth of nasty women like HER. Why should I in turn pay for other people’s fertility then?? Not to mention why should my property taxes send her rugrats to school??

    Oh, and while I’m venting (thanks DD) why do I have to pay for lung caner treatments, etc., for people who CHOOSE to smoke? Infertility is not a choice, it’s not about waiting too long. It’s not all about selfish career women. My husband would not be able to knock up a 25 year old either, so don’t blame my age JCP! Educate yourself beyone your one example of a “friend” who you are clearly not a real friend to besides.

    Oh ya, and lastly, fuck you too, JCP! I hope your kids turn out kinder than you have. With any luck your husband is not an asshole.

  24. I should be done, but I’m not.

    Can JCP also tell me why it’s fair that adoption gets no funding then? Because I still have to come up with about $25,000 while paying for her happy childbirths with my gloriouly overpriced but rather useless health insurance.

  25. So this 23 year old I know once said right after her marriage (I married at 30 and was having trouble getting pg at 33): “I have no sympathy for women who wait to have children.”

    It turns out, a year and a half later, that she is infertile. When she made her comment, DH and I didn’t know what our diagnosis is: now we do (MF and my age are the trouble makers).

    So to those smug fertiles I say: YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO IT WILL BE. YOU, THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE, THE PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW: YOU DON’T KNOW.

  26. I bet her three kids are just little balls of sunshine…like their mommy dearest.

  27. I am so absolutely furious with JCP that I can’t even think straight. I’ve had PCOS (as far as I know) my entire life. My periods have been weird since I started getting them. I could have TTC at 16 and STILL not gotten pregnant. I did start TTC at 23 and not have my first child until 6 weeks before I turned 26. And when we started TTC our second before I turned 27, it was even less successful. I just turned 29 in January and I’m down to IVF as our last resort for ever having another biological child. Was that responsible enough for that bitch? Because I didn’t do a single fucking thing to make myself infertile.

    Who the fuck is she to say “Just adopt”? Does her insurance cover that? Because most people don’t have the thousands and thousands of dollars to do that, anymore than they have the money to do IVF. If insurance covers IVF, even partly, it may be MUCH cheaper to do that than to adopt. And most companies (91% according to the latest Resolve statistic) report that their costs didn’t go up AT ALL in order to cover infertility, including IVF coverage.

    Is it wrong to call her a stupid bitch and to hate her even though I’ve never met her?

  28. I’m stunned. Why on earth would somebody think it’s okay to leave that comment?

    I was 28 when I found out I wouldn’t need birth control. Old bag, huh?

  29. You know BIRTHING a child is optional. You dont’ NEED to have children, so BAG all of those parts of your husband’s company’s health insurance policy as well. How about someone who needs to take meds? They don’t HAVE to take meds do they for depression (an example), why hell, they can just SUCK IT UP AND DEAL. What an idiot.

  30. I, the old bag, don’t even know what to say. Plus you said it all so much better. I don’t understand either why men have to cover women’s pregnancy expenses, they can’t get pregnant, right (except, of course, with high-quality eggs, but that is another issue)? It’s quite tiring to try to illicit some understanding about infertility in the fertile population. What I find mind boggeling is that so many think that they and theirs are excempt from infertility.

  31. …also hurray for “decent quality health insurance” that covers IVF expenses!

  32. I can’t wait until this woman has a health condition that requires expensive treatment so that we can all point at her and accuse her of being frivolous and driving up our insurance costs! I, too, suffer from endometriosis and the symptoms manifested themselves first in my late 20s — yeah, back then when I became an old bag(!) Here’s another thing you sorry excuse for a woman, what do YOU look like? What’s your health situation? Are you a little overweight from sitting on your arse and accusing other people of things you know nothing about? Perhaps you’re pre-diabetic because you’re stuffing your face with bonbons while you opine about the tough sacrifices you’ve made? Perhaps you have some other life-style induced or mental conditions in *your* family that are contributing to higher premiums? And what about the costs of treating your children? I’m guessing your little monsters’ drain on the healthcare system over the course of their non-earning years are probably driving up MY premiums. And, let’s not even talk about all of taxes those of us without children pay to fund schools and daycare centers to educate your progeny? Let me repeat, I don’t have children, but I get dinged in a BIG, BIG way to subsidize your children’s future! How’s that fair? huh?

  33. Like Kati said, hurray for health insurance that will cover IVF. Where do I sign up to get that? Not where I work or very many places in Wisconsin for that matter.
    If she is going to throw how lucky she is to have insurance that covers IVF and I am guessing all the other treatments up to IVF, in our faces then she needs to tell us what company she is using. Does her insurance cover adoption too? I think many people would be interested in signing up.

  34. First off, JCP can go fuck herself. Everything she says is so misguided and said from ignorance that it makes me physically ill. And for those women who did work through their 20’s and paid into health insurance during that time, are they not allowed now to use those benefits that they paid for as well? JCP, you are an ignorant bitch, and for your sake, I hope you don’t run into me, ever.

  35. Uh…..wow…I’m kinda speechless at that level of idiocy.

  36. Bite me, JCP. Infertility is just another health condition. You should be counting your blessings that you weren’t affected by it.

    Signed,
    Another old bag

  37. Just another old bag who began trying at 25, stopping in. Once our insurance covers adoption, which is generally more costly than IVF, you will actually have been starting to make a semi-valid point, JCP. STARTING to.

  38. I just can’t even comment on this. JCP, your company could choose another plan. It might cost you more, but then you wouldn’t have to do something you so obviously are against.

    Yeah, I’m just an old career obsessed bag…you obviously have my number (bitch)

  39. According to RESOLVE and the research my husband did to convince his company to being offering infertility coverage, it costs only $1.68 PER MONTH PER FAMILY to cover the entire state of Massachuesetts. So I don’t buy the whole “it costs too much argument” because it doesn’t.

    Insurance is not about paying for what we believe in, it’s about covering medical conditions. Like other commenters have suggested why not refuse payment for viagra? What about a triple bypass for the person who chose not to make dietary changes? Or diabetes treatment?

    Insurance is to cover ALL medical conditions , whether or not we approve of them.

    Also, I’d really like to see the citation for the Australian study that JCP quotes because I’ve never seen anything that remotely hints at that, and I’ve really looked.

    And until now I’ve been completely self-pay. I think we all have the right to access to treatment not just those of us that are luckily enough to be able to afford it.

  40. According to the CDC’s latest ART report there were 127,977 total ART cycles in 2004. Now let’s assume that each woman has 2 ART cycles in a year so that’s about 63,988 total women – or roughly 1280 per state. Evenly distributed, probably only a few (at most) per insurance group.

    On the other hand, 20.8 million americans have diabetes, 90-95% of those cases are Type 2 or the type related to obesity and inactivity. The cost of diabetes in the US – $132 billion. 66% of the American population is overweight or obese with costs of weight related medical treatment hovering around $78.5 billion. Smoking’s annual health care costs are around $72 billion.

    Now I wasn’t a math major, but seems to me that your health insurance costs are probably rising more than the extra dollar or so related to covering a very small number of people’s treatments for infertility. You don’t agree with people doing IVF, fine -that’s your uninformed right but don’t couch it in some flimsy economic or medical argument. You think you’re better than infertile couples, great, bully for you. So happy you could get pregnant when you wanted – we’ll be sure to send you your “I conceived without medical intervention” medal of honor.

    — Another old bag who had IVF coverage and still paid $15,000 out of pocket.

  41. Yeah, what Aurelia said!

    Geesh, JCP. Maybe we should limit who conceivs entirely if we want to reduce health insurance costs. I don’t have the infertility label and didn’t have to do IVF, but I’m diabetic. You can bet your buns I racked up at least $100k in additional medical costs for my 2 pregnancies that were fully covered by insurance. Should I be prevented from having children? I don’t think anyone would say I should. How is infertility any different?

  42. I’m shocked – although I supposed I shouldn’t be – at the complete lack of education JCP has.

    It scares me that such ignorant people are out there in the world.

  43. Wow, this woman obviously doesn’t get it!!

    I was 23 when I found out I was infertile. I was 24 when I did my first round of IVF.

    I guess I really am an OLD BAG.

    For some of us infertility treatment isn’t OPTIONAL. It is our ONLY CHANCE to have a child.

    Don’t talk about things you don’t understand until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

  44. It has taken me a while to respond to this. I am appalled at JCP’s lack of insight. This person truly thinks that IVF coverage is why health insurance premiums are so high? Wrong.

    The statistics on the birth defects are wrong also. Love to see a citation on that “study”.

    Not to mention her spelling is atrocious. I hope that her children are more literate than she is.

    I am an older mother. Why? Well I was married to my ex-husband for 10+ years and never ever used an ounce of birth control. I married him when I was 22. BTW, we never had any ART either.

    Once I was divorced from him, I finally met the man I wanted to have children with. We tried for 7 years before having our beautiful son. Did we use ART? You betcha. Did insurance cover it? Not a dime. It was all out of pocket.

    She needs to get a fucking life.

  45. People like JCP open thir mouths out of ignorance and a feeling that the world is against them. It’s small-minded and petty.

    I agree with all the commenters above who have made very good arguments that it’s not infertility that is driving up insurance premiums, but a host of other things. Something that hasn’t been mentioned is that as long as IVF is covered by insurance, couples will tend to transfer fewer embryos resulting in less costly pregnancies and births (think of the NICU costs for preemies!).

    FYI I started trying to have a baby at 30 (when I finally met a suitable man with which to have children — not that I hadn’t been looking for a while), and all of our ART stuff has been paid out-of-pocket.

  46. oy. some people (and believe me, i mean her, not you) are just begging for something terrible to happen to them, so they can get a side of empathy to go along with their perfect little life.

  47. krappola!
    i couldn’t even read that whole thing for fear of the language that would come streaming out of my mouth and the negative impact that may have on my karma!!!

    signed,
    one old bag (whose insurance does not cover ivf)
    peace
    shlomit

  48. krappola!
    i couldn’t even read that whole thing for fear of the language that would come streaming out of my mouth and the negative impact that may have on my karma!!!

    signed,
    one old bag (whose insurance does not cover ivf)
    peace
    shlomit

  49. I guess I’m a young bag (all of 27, that is two years younger than your commenter) who will require IVF. It’s not fucking optional. I was born with a birth defect.

    Furthermore, perhaps the commenter should actually read some blogs, books, or articles by adopted people. Adoption is not right for everybody.

    This commenter should think, listen, and learn before she spews out reciculous comments like that.

    There are so many other things covered by insurance she could have chosen to attack. Why not boob jobs? Why not Viagara? Why not deny pregnancy coverage in its entirety, considering it is OPTIONAL.

    Sincerely,
    One pissed as all hell young bag (who does not have IVF coverage)

  50. Well I guess JCP is just perpetuating the myth: It seems stupid and ignorant people can breed at will. While some smart, intelligent folks have to struggle like salmon going up stream to have one healthy child.

    F off JCP and learn to read a few websites before making such a comment.

  51. I haven’t read all the comments so far, but here’s my take on it – IF isn’t about age. Some people are just infertile from the start. While I’m glad your nasty commenter was able to take off work at the tender age of 29 to make her babies… I’m not sympathetic. By 29, I was knee-deep in IF testing since I decided to have babies at the ripe old age of 22. She can bite me for that one.

    It’s just lovely to be irate that insurance will cover something that seems trivial because it doesn’t apply to YOU. I wonder how cranky she would get if she suddenly lost coverage for birth control because – hey – some of us don’t need it, so why should we pay for hers, right? .. and while we’re at it, why not cut off her maternity coverage since pregnancy is a choice… ?

    There are so many medical things that really ARE caused by choices we make that it seems ludicrous to single out infertility coverage – when IF is rarely caused by a lifestyle choice – and hold it up as the one thing to get rid of… the actual cost of IF coverage, spread across the masses would be trivial. I am quite sure that the costs associated with IF are also trivial when compared to other, more common medical issues.

  52. Why is she focused on fertility treatments driving up the cost of insurance and not, say, elective surgeries, or male hair regrowth products or impotence treatments. Everyone has a right to pay into an HMO and have their particular health concerns covered as far as I’m concerned. What a narrow minded twat.

  53. This site gives information relating to the natural health education. It also gives details about the health insurance covers this procedure at an exorbitant cost to my family and small business.
    natural health education

    I checked this website with the intent to review the “details” about the costs to family and small business, and the site seems to just be a place to find info on where to get training in the natural arts. I replied to Shain’s email requesting more information. There has been no reply. It would appear that the website is bunk.

  54. Oh my God. She left me speechless…

    Yes, i have a thousand ugly words I want to SPIT in her face, but…
    some people just don’t get it. When they haven’t gone through it themselves, or with someone close to them…there’s just no grasping the idea.
    I feel sorry for her, because she is an ignorant BITCH who will never understand, no matter how hard you try to help her.
    So- JCP- here’s a big FUCK YOU from me, Diana, who had to have two dead babies spewed from her body…should I apologize that my insurance covered all that? Or should I send you a Thank You note in the mail?
    DD- I offer you a hug. While I mumble those thousand words of acid towards that stupid, stupid woman…

  55. You know. I have really, really bad allergies right now, so that’s my excuse for the following:

    1) Economic Sacrifice – Bullshit. I am so sick of hearing these women who said that they left their jobs at “economic sacrific” to raise their children at a young age. First, anyone who starts having kids at 29, isn’t so young by the time they have their third. Just lucky. Second (and primarily), women who claim “economic sacrific” probably weren’t making that much or have viable career to begin with. My guess is that you were making 30K – 40K at some deadend job that you could easily go back to when you were finished raising your kids. Quit work when you make 100K in an ever-changing field and then talk to me about economic sacrifice, bitch.

    2) You might call the person you write about a “friend,” but I doubt that she calls you one. Really. She had a child undergo dangerous, life-threatening surgery and this is all the compassion you can muster? She has a kid who’s going through a phase and you refer to her as a “maniac”? Wake up. She screens your calls and doesn’t want to talk to you.

    I’m going to take some Claritin, now, and hopefully become a better person.

  56. Suz, you are so deliciously mean.

    As a bona fide old bag, I take issue with JCP. She reminds me of the mean SAHMs on the playground who are pissed off all the time because they’re covered in poo and vomit and their husbands are jerks so they take it out on everyone else. And yes, I stay at home too. I’m just not unhappy. Unlike JCP.

  57. Good for all the ladies on here. All I could think to say is to call her a nasty name!

  58. What a hateful, misinformed individual. Is it too much to wish she is unable to / doesn’t reproduce herself?

  59. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

    I’d better find out who Allison’s bio mom is. She certainly has a much different personality than Dannyy or me. I didn’t have to use IVF, but since she’s the spit and image of Danny, I’d better find out who shot their egg up my you know what.

    I cannot believe how ignorant this woman is!!!!! Right now I have a neighborhood friend who has yet to hit 30 who does not work because she’s trying so hard to have children. She’s using adopted embryos (sp?). She does not fit into this woman’s strict stereotype.

    My suggestion for JCP is as follows:

    If you hate how our health insurance system works, tell your husband to close down his business and get a “real” job. I bet his employees can’t stand her butting into their business. Infertility falls under the category of protected health information (PHI) under the HIPAA act. How in the hell does she know who does and who does not used what health related procedures?

    JCP can go f*@k herself!

  60. While JCP is lacking compassion and seems to have a prejudiced bias against the infertile, her views are a product of the media. It’s the media that portrays women who utilize ART as career obsessed women who waited too long to have kids. It’s the media who make it seem like a woman only issue as if it never affects men. The media doesn’t talk about those of us with legitimate medical problems who utilize ART. No, they highlight older career women like Joan Lunden and do a great job of making ART look like a selfish, optional procedure. Our society has provided the rhetoric for her, she just let it turn her into a troll.

    In reality very few couples ever pursue IVF because most of them can’t afford it. Those of us who’ve used ART to conceive are in a minority and we don’t, contrary to JCP’s opinion, cost all that much money. Not compared to all the heart bypasses which by far outnumber IVF cycles. And diabetics. And people with asthma (of which I am one).

    Actually, I live in a state where IVF coverage is not mandated and small business health insurance is still $700-900 per person. It’s not ART that makes insurance expensive. JCP’s logic doesn’t stand on that point, her argument is just a poorly executed emotional attack.

    JCP has serious emotional issues with ART for some reason. What has ART ever done to her (for real, I mean, not her imagined infertile-hags-cost-too-much grievance)?

    Did a DE kid beat up her kid? Win the spelling bee? Did an IUI mom cut her off in traffic? Did someone stab her with a used Follistim needle? What has warped her so?

    M
    Who paid for her own damn IVF and for whom IVF may be therapeutic and reduce future medical expenses.

  61. first time posting on this site – first time visitor.
    anyway, i am probably going to hell one day anyway, so i shall wish on JCP this: i hope one of your kids one day has to deal with the pain of infertility and the emotional hell that it brings. i also sincerely hope that their health insurance wont cover a dime of their treatment!!

    people should be forced to take parenting tests. i mean, why are ignorant people still allowed to have children, only to pass on their stupidity to the next generation? how are intelligent people supposed to rule the world when we have idiots like her procreating?

    and finally…..i didnt realize that all i had to do was leave my job and “make the sacrifice” in order to have children! WOW – what a solution!! just fucking quit!! who knew that working for a living was the cause of my unexplained infertility!!!!!!

    bitch, i hope you burn in hell for your words. i’ll be there waiting. ha!

    -A (was this too bitter? oh well)


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