Posted by: DD | April 23, 2007

no. 425 – Someone Please Make It Stop

Our personal schedules have become a little more hectic than usual since I signed up X for classes at the Y, which included the swimming, Taekwondo and soccer. I also signed up for a class as I noticed a few weeks ago my weight creeping up and up until it hit that number I swore to myself I refused to ever be.

The class I am taking overlaps my work schedule by 30 minutes, so I leave work early (yes, I am very fortunate to have that kind of flexibility). By the time my class ends, X’s are either starting or about to start within 30 minutes. In fact, his TKD and soccer also overlap by 15 minutes. We are still trying to figure out if he will continue the TKD at this time.

By the time we are done with everything, the soonest we get home is 6:30, the latest is 7:15 every weeknight except Friday. We are learning how to juggle these changes and still have something on the table for supper besides hot dogs, pizza or mcdonalds.

During one of my classes last week, I was explaining our schedule to the other ladies in the class (I say "ladies" instead of "girls" to give you an idea or age: 40+ for the majority), when one of them piped up:

"How many other children do you have?"

"Oh, just the one," I answered in the way I have answered for the past 4 1/2 years, without emotion to avoid any reading-into.

"Well, we certainly don’t feel sorry for you! Wait ’till you have three or four!" she cackled back at me.

I smiled politely back and resisted the urge to either bean her with the 3 lb weight I was curling or to snap her with the humongo resistant bands and continued to bounce rhythmically on my exercises ball.

No, I suppose she doesn’t feel sorry for me compared to her busy schedule managing suchandsuch number of kids compared to my Lonely Only. I wondered if she would feel sorry for me if I told her our infertility story or if I handed out little cards with this website URL on it? The thing is, I don’t "need" her to feel sorry for me either way.

I feel sorry for her and the sweat-stained, fat-assed, ignorant old bitch that she is  – all the while I fantasize that her spandex will spontaneously combust from the undue friction and stress. Just please, lord, don’t let it happen while I’m there because, ewwwwwwwwww!



  1. Ewwwwwwwwww indeed!

    I’ve gotten that kind of comment before, too. The thing I’m too kind to point out is that I am probably just as busy with one as they are with multiples but it’s quality, not quantity, that keeps me busy.

  2. You see – this is why you are SOOOO much a better person than I. Because I would have gotten off my exercise ball and preceded to beat the crap out of her.

    If. I. Have. To. Hear. Those. Words. One. More. Time. I. Will. Not. Be. Responsible. For. My. Actions. And, I will need a defense lawyer.

  3. You are a royal bitch. And I love you.

  4. Well that is a lovely image for me to enjoy with my morning coffee!! Thanks for that!!! I really hate how people really don`t think before they speak, especially with strangers. I have a friend who has four kids and she always says that it isn`t the number that changed how busy she became, it was having a child in the first place.

  5. You DO sound busy! I think it’s great that you’re getting some exercise time in for yourself too.

    How about implosion instead of combustion. That’s always fun to watch, and a lot less messy!

  6. Sending spontaneous combustion thoughts to the evil wench.

  7. Oh gosh, I remember lovely comments like that. “You’ve been married for 9 years? Why don’t you have children? What are you waiting for?” I used to tell my husband’s insensitive relatives that he was impotent just to see the look….

  8. For me, at this point, I don’t really think I’d like to have another, and I get mad when people just assume I am going to have more. Then when I correct them they will just say “oh yeah you wait. You’ll have at least 3.” Um, who says you know what’s best for me and my uterus? People just can’t keep their mouthes shut one way or the other.

  9. People really should learn to KITT (keep it to themselves). I think I’d have to take it to ’em with the above mentioned exercise ball!! It doesn’t end there sadly, if one more person tells me how SMALL my 2.5 year old is I might whack ’em upside the head with a full Pull-Up…And my friend who has a 5 year old gets all sorts of assumptions made at her about her plans/mothering/whatnots.

    HOWEVER, on the food front, we found “Mom’s Kitchen Makeover” (or something similar) cookbook to be a lifesaver…not everything in there is great, but most of the dishes are easy, FAST, tasty and decent for you!

  10. Whah ha ha ha! X

  11. You REALLY need to find the switch for that neon sign over your head. You know. The one that reads “SAY SOMETHING STUPID TO ME!!!”
    Good God.

    I was having an Ally MacBeal moment over here….picturing you on the ball, watching fatso’s chub-rub start to smolder. First little wisps of smoke, and then FWOOMPF! Full-on 4 alarm thigh fire. Yuk. Imagine the stench of burning “fromunder”.

  12. Ow…I feel for you, all of you who have to face such comments. Unfortunately you live in a world where multiple children is just natural and if you have one it’s automatically assumed you can have more.

    I understand to you it feels like a stab at the heart, but you must realize that from their perspective, not knowing your painful history, they only see what they see. It does not occur to the average person, facing another average looking person that they may have problems of some kind. We assume everything is normal until told otherwise. Therefore a comment like that is not intended to be insensitive, but rather is a normal average comment made in the mind set that you are another normal average person with the normal average ability to bear children.

    I know that doesn’t help what you feel inside when you hear such things face to face, I’m just making a note from the POV of the the other side.

    It’s terrible that you all have to live through such hell amongst the blissful ignorance of everyone else.

  13. Oh KRAP! I admire your restraint!!! The world is full of insufferable, hyper fertile people, isn’t it?!

    I for one live in awe of your schedule…and I don’t have ANY kids!!

  14. Some people have all the nerve!

  15. Gah….evil asshats. I have on occasion been known to retort, “I already do have other children. They’re dead. Can’t have anymore.”

    Shuts them right up.

  16. “Well, I certainly don’t feel sorry for you”??????? What kind of a stupid-ass comment is that? And why do I continue to be surprised by lines like that?

  17. I guess we’d all like total strangers to sympathize with us? Well you people would any. Given the prevalence of thoughtless rudeness out there, I am perfectly comfortable if most perfect strangers remain that way.

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