Posted by: DD | May 12, 2007

no. 441 – I Just Need Some Air

Many of you saw something different, very different, in bloglines for post no. 441. My five year old son said something so shocking, so painful, I thought by posting it and seeing it in black and white, it would act as a bucket of ice-cold water and wake me from the fog of fear and sadness the statement threw me into.

After I posted it and walked away, it didn’t feel right for me to put it out there for everyone. So, I removed those words and put up the "Out to Lunch, Don’t Fucking Bother Me" sign.

How I love you that did anyway.

I’m sorry to be all mysterious about that post to those who only saw the sign and don’t know what’s going on. It’s personal. More personal than any post about our infertility treatments. For those who do know, Mr. DD and I did talk to X in what I hope appeared in a calm, controlled manner. We didn’t ask where he had heard such a thing, and we didn’t forbid him to ever say it again. We just wanted him to know that we love him beyond anything on this earth and we will be there for him.

Today, it is business as usual for him. But something has been rocked in my foundation and I will find myself second guessing certain actions and phrases he may say in the future, especially as he gets to the ‘tween and teen years. I will be ever hyper-vigilant for signs.

What I wouldn’t give for him to have used that old stand-by, "You’re not the best Mom, anymore!"



  1. DD,

    I’m sorry that you got shocked by X, I can just imagine what he said. My kids have blurted out some pretty awful things every once in awhile. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or another Mom to complain to, I’m here.

    Try and have a Happy Mother’s Day anyway. We love you, hon!

  2. I still have tears in my eyes. I think you handled it exactly the right way. You are a wonderful, thoughtful, amazing mother. xox.

  3. Dear DD, I’m so sorry X said something devastatimg to you. That sounds terrible. Thinking of you and hoping it doesn’t fester.

  4. I think you did the right thing too and agree with Nico – you are a great mother. I’m sorry it hurt you so much.

  5. Happy Mothers Day.
    I don’t know what he said, but I know how those words sting and stay with you forever.

  6. I missed what he said, but I’m confident that you did the right thing. You always seem to know just what to do. I’m here if you need someone.

  7. You did the absolute right thing…it seems that parenting just gets that much harder the older that the kids get.

  8. Happy Mother’s Day DD. I don’t know what X said, but I am sorry that it hurt you so much. xx

  9. I also think that you guys handled it just the right way. Being there for him, letting him know that and being watchful is the best thing you could do.

  10. Ouch. I’m sure he didn’t quite understand why what he said was so awful, but I’m so sorry. ((HUGS))

    Happy Mother’s Day!

  11. I’m sorry X upset you so much, I hope the situation doesn’t happen again.

  12. Kids say terrible, terrible things and they don’t mean them at all. Still, it cuts to the bone to hear them.

    Sending you hugs.

  13. I’m sorry X said something awful… i hate that sometimes kids say the most awful things… and I think of all the things i said to my parents that probably broke their heart just alittle bit.

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