Posted by: DD | June 11, 2007

no. 461 – Bee is to Sting, as Hives is to Burn

I’m still dealing with hives. Not daily, but every other day and in painful doses. Saturday a large welt appeared on my ankle bone and inhibited the free movement of my foot. Sunday morning I had to limp out the soreness.

This morning after tossing and turning with a sore arm and wrist, I finally got up and took an aleve at 3:00 a.m. I thought it was sore from the yard work. This morning a large welt running from the inside of my elbow down and around to the top of the arm a few inches from my wrist had appeared. It was causing the pain, which I would describe no less than "vice-like".

I’d had enough and made an appointment with my family practitioner. Diagnosis? Hives. With the luck I’ve been having, I was prepared for him to tell me it was a rare bone cancer or lupus or some other incurable auto-immune deficiency. We’re going to try a round of steroids and see if that can tame this problem before my vacation. I was a little frustrated that he spent more time discussing my last miscarriage (finally had some spotting this weekend. CD1 later today or tomorrow.) and how God has this plan for me and is using my miscarriages to create the person he wants me to be.

I’m not sure how creating a bitter, depressed, and disillusioned individual is part of the "greater good".

The current fashion trend is driving me to drink (more). I hated the skinny, short tops, but these billowy tent-tops and empire-waisted blouses are like having a herd of pregnant women with ages ranging from 15 to 51 around every where I go. I look at them and ask, "are they or aren’t they?" until they either move out of sight or until they notice my laser-like stare and discreetly clear their throats to bring me back into reality.

Would you believe I even went and tried some on? I tried the kimono style, the tie-back, the elasticized bands, etc. All they did was emphasize what is not there. I thought that even if I found one that looked semi-flattering, it would either be perceived by others as if I was pregnant, which would mean fielding some rather uncomfortable and painful questions or attempting to look pregnant externally when in fact I was just the owner of an overused and underutilized uterus – a living sarcophagus (A Greek word for "flesh eater".  Funny, that.).

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Responses

  1. I just said to my friend and my sister the other day, “why is everything out there now look like a maternity outfit?”

    Of course I didn’t have that luck when I was actually pregnant and paid lots of money
    for maternity clothes.

  2. If my doctor had said something to me about a miscarriage being God’s plan, I would have replied, “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re a DOCTOR. It’s just biology.” And that would have been my last visit to that doctor.

  3. I remember the first time that those tops were so popular, which is just aging myself publicly.

  4. ::Groan:: regarding the stupid ‘new’ fashions, being a big fat fatty, I am unable to wear these without looking exactly seven months along. I really adore the ones with the 8 inches of elastic encasing the boobs – very flattering. Who knew I had two sets of tits?
    And, ::OMFG:: to your physician for even opening his mouth to voice an opinion! Shame “god” plagued you with welts, too. Maybe it will serve to shape your outlook on the magic of itching.
    ~I do, however, sincerely hope the steroids help, and soon.~I also hope your bleeding won’t be too physically torturous. I’m sorry.

  5. God’s plan? What’s next? A plague of locust? Good Christ! What a moron!

  6. I have often wondered if I keep extra weight on just to I feel and look pregnant.

    Watch out for the steroids. Talk about cranky. Those things make me flat out aggressive. That dr ought to be glad you didn’t see him while ON steroids.

  7. I hate those tops as well. I bought one without trying it on, not realizing it was that kind, and have regretted it. Between the comments, the extra weight I’ve gained and the not really flattering look for the boobage, echhh.

    I think I’m going to burn mine, along with my fertility books, charts, and leftover needles.

    Of course, I’m in a bitter mood today. 😉

  8. God’s plan? That’s the number one miscarriage “condolence” that deserves a smack down. It’s right up there with “at least it wasn’t a REAL baby.”

  9. Maybe it’s G-d’s plan for you to accidently impale the doctor’s foot with a stilleto heel next time you visit his office.

  10. I consider myself more or less agnostic, but those “it’s God’s plan” folks make me crazy when it comes to trying to turn my misfortune (or yours) into a good thing.

    It’s so arrogant too . . . does your doc (or anyone else) have a direct line to God? Sorry you had to endure that when all you wanted was some itch relief.

  11. I consider myself more or less agnostic, but those “it’s God’s plan” folks make me crazy when it comes to trying to turn my misfortune (or yours) into a good thing.

    It’s so arrogant too . . . does your doc (or anyone else) have a direct line to God? Sorry you had to endure that when all you wanted was some itch relief.

  12. I liked niobe’s take on it. A nice stiletto through the foot indeed.

  13. That was a real dolt of a comment from the doctor. I hope he is worthwhile otherwise. What’s wrong with a simple “I’m sorry” I’d like to know?

    Know what bugs me the most about the new fashion style? How that Stacey London chick keeps calling it an “ahm-peer” waist. WTF? EMM-PYRE is good enough for the rest of us, what’s with her? I know I should just stop watching What N.ot 2 We.ar but I can’t help myself.

    Sigh. Sorry, DD. Hives are suckalicious.

  14. I can’t believe a doc would utter the word God…I’ve never seen that firsthand…
    and those shirts?
    I hate them.

  15. I’m back. I needed to stew before commenting.

    What the f*ck?!? Your doctor is looking at your miscarriage as God’s plan?!? Please tell me you’re looking for another doctor.

    Ok. Apparently I’m still stewing. It’s just such an offensive thing to say to a patient. Doctor’s are supposed to focus on medicine! No wonder you have hives; they’re often stress-induced and more people are just piling the stress on you.

    I really really hope you have a nice vacation. You so deserve it.

  16. I hate people who say it’s “god’s plan”.
    As for “making you the person he wants you to be”…um, what more fucking miserable.
    Sorry you had to hear that! I throw a drink in their face if I was close by – just for you!

  17. I am sorry that you are dealing with hives. As someone who is allergic to all things scented I feel your pain.

    And I am sorry that your doctor is such a fu&/$ng moron. I hope that you are looking for someone else. What an aSS.

  18. Did you happen to mention to him that it’s “God’s plan” to stick your foot up his ass?

    I can’t believe he said that to you…

  19. Oh, I am so with you on the latest style of clothes looking like everyone is pg. I’m not even trying yet, and I think they suck.

  20. Sex offenders should be, should not be castrated


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