Posted by: DD | June 12, 2007

no. 462 – Kissing My Biology Good-Bye

I had to take 6 10mg prednisone tablets last night for my hives treatment. I got number three down before gagging. I would be willing to pay twice as much for each of those little fuckers (a whopping $ 0.10) if they would just coat them. A whole glass of milk and a couple of Riesens candy helped chase the bitterness from my tongue. And I hate milk.

I signed the paperwork today to have my medical records removed from Dr. Holierthanthou’s office and transferred to another. I wonder if I’ll have to make part of my initial H&P the request that all talk of God and any association to him be kept limited to phrases that would be considered taking his name in vain?

With that I do feel I owe an apology to a few of you who I know have placed a lot of faith in God and his plans for you. I do not wish to show any disrespect to you as individuals. It’s just…it’s not what I want or need to hear right now. It may never be.

Let’s talk about something less controversial: donor egg.

Several of you have suggested giving up some of yours for the cause and asked me questions regarding the hows and whatfors. Before I address those questions, which I asked my clinic’s nurse today since it’s officially Day 1! Whoohoo! (Fuck.), I’ll give you just a little more info on my clinic’s protocol up front.

Our clinic actually plans for two recipients to one donor to help defray the costs. They only do fresh transfers so I can’t go through the glamour shots of those post-teen beauties and pick the one who best resembles me. Which is good, because how do you possibly find another face as beautiful and as timeless as mine?

The donors are selected for the recipients that have similar characteristics, which is used in the very broadest of terms. In my case they are looking for a female of average height, average weight and caucasian. That’s it.

That, and women with no prior fertility issues.

So for those of you who thought about offering up your ovaries, here’s the poop on the eggs:

  • You would have to be a patient at my clinic throughout the entire process. The cycle could not be started somewhere else and then retrieved here.
  • No female factor.
  • Your eggs would not be used just by me.
  • My wait could be six months, more or less to be matched with a donor.

It seems like there were other questions that I fielded but for the life of me I can’t think of anything else outside of this scope. If I didn’t answer your question, feel free to ask in comments or email me.

Speaking of which, I have a new email address: dd_tko at yahoo dot com. I couldn’t take typing in “ddknockedup” one more time without feeling mocked by my own failures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t have a title for this post until I got done writing it. After I typed it in, I looked at it and started crying.

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Responses

  1. There aren’t many people more beautiful than you, I agree–the supermodel thing and all–but I’m glad that your best trait–your wit–isn’t part of biology and your baby will still inherit that from you. A whole little sarcastic family 🙂 And I say that with love, DD, because I truly think you are one of the funniest people in the blogosphere.

  2. I wish that there was something I could do to help. Good luck with the new doctor/clinic and hopefully they will honor your request for just swearing and not praying. 😉

  3. Well crap. I seriously would have done it for you if I could monitored here. I totally would have flown out there for ya. Hugs and hope you find a match soon.

  4. Well crap. I seriously would have done it for you if I could monitored here. I totally would have flown out there for ya. Hugs and hope you find a match soon.

  5. Oh, I am so sorry DD. It’s hard to say goodbye to your own biological eggs. It made me feel like a failure, even though it was my choice. (I’m a carrier for a genetic mutation). It just sucks all around. I hope the procedure for the donor eggs go well. We were fortunate/blessed enough to have our donor cycle succeed, and presently have a fantastic 14 month old son. I did find that I went though the whole sour grapes thing regarding my DNA. It’s only DNA; it your body and blood that will nourish your child.

    Re: God. It’s a lot easier to have faith when everything is going well. My faith was put to the test when we kept having failed cycles, and… well, let’s just say it just wasn’t there. My faith is intact NOW that I’m happy and healthy with a wonderful husband and son. So I guess I suck in the faith department too. Ah well.

    Hang in there, DD. I hope your hives resolve pronto and I hope that you eventually find peace with whatever solution will work for you. Fingers crossed.

  6. I so wish I could help you through this, you know IRL or something. And I hope the hives are getting better!

  7. I like you being in the driver’s seat. You sound good.

    (insert religious expletives here, by god)

  8. I wish I could help dear DD. If only you lived in MA… I hope that the hives go away soon. Hugs.

  9. I’m thinking about you.

  10. I am on Prednisolone to prevent miscarriage – yuck!!! They used to come coated but now don’t. Five a day for the next two weeks even though my cycle has been cancelled 😦 Hope your hives clear up soon.

    I know what you mean, being a supermodel and all myself, how do we find donors to match up??? Maybe one of your gorgeous and divine readers will fit the bill.

  11. Don’t worry God can take the heat, keep on swearing. Dr.Holierthanthou may have a nasty surprise waiting for him in heaven, chuckle.

    As for the email, why don’t you autoforward the old one to the new one until we all remember. I don’t want to miss sending you anything.

  12. I don’t have anything to offer except that I’m thinking of you often.
    xoxo

  13. DD, I know how hard it is and how immensely sad it feels to let go of the idea of using your own eggs.

  14. Yeah, the prednisone are really, really awful. I was on them during my cycle and after for about 12 more weeks, and I always took them with milk because they were so horrid.

    I wish I could make things easier for you with the donor situation… but just know that we are all here to support you!

  15. Okay, so I’m hispanic and could never be as pretty as you, so I’m out. That, and I’m all the way on the east coast, about five miles off the edge of the earth.
    I do hope your match comes quickly.
    Always thinking of you…

  16. Steroids are awful. I hope they work really quickly.

    I hope that you’re matched with a donor quickly, and that she’s almost as gorgeous as you. Then again, how likely is that? But perhaps she can be a close second.

  17. I agree with Mel 🙂 Right on the money and I’m praying that this is the right road for you all.

    It’s amazing how many people came through with wanting to donate their eggs to you!

    You see, it ain’t over till the fat lady does her thang!

    XXX

  18. I opened the comment box and lost my words -I don’t know what to say. I feel for you, I truly do, I get the G-d thing – I just can’t cope with people who start with the G-d thing – and I just wish I could sit down with you and a large bottle of liquor.

    I wish I could make it better, at least a bit. x

  19. I take prednisone or medrol so regularly due to allergic reactions I have discovered the ultimate secret to dealing with it. Take it with a strongly flavored food _while_ eating.

    This does not completely erase the awful taste, but it does help mask it better.

    Pax,

    MLO

  20. Just came over via SQSPJ and I love your writing! I’ll be stopping by often and catching up on your story. All the best for the next steps…


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