Posted by: DD | June 19, 2007

no. 470 – In Your Opinion…

What do you think of this wild hair?

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(Poll in post entry for those of you using bloglines)

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Responses

  1. You are too cute!!!!

  2. don’t see anything, just the poll 😐

  3. The question on the poll is the “wild hair”.

  4. Okay, 18 is too young. I could live with 21. When’s her birthday anyway? heh

    PS – Honey, it is your V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N.

  5. It certainly couldn’t hurt to ask. Just make sure you can get her as much information as possible, and think about if you and your husband would ever tell your resulting child about it. There’s a lot to consider, on everyone’s part and you all kinda need to be on the same page. I realize you’re only in the thinking stages about this so far, but that’s good – get all your bases covered. I’d start talking to her asap to see how she feels about it and if she’d be open to it.

    My own 22 year old cousin offered, so we were really fortunate. Just hope she’d like to do it again one day… Hang in there and good luck. It’s good to be proactive!

  6. I say, keep trying with what you’ve got and ask the neice so you have something on the back burner. She’s plenty old enough to make up her own mind. Women younger than her sell their eggs to complete strangers, she should be able to make the call for her aunt.

    And in response to your question on my site: Hearing “I’m sorry” doesn’t suck, but the reason behind it certainly does. The reason sucks big time.

  7. If you are comfortable with the idea and have a fairly good relationship with her, I say it doesn’t hurt to ask.

  8. I’d check it out with her parents first. She may be 21, but if she says yes and they get all squirrelly on you, it could make life very very uncomfortable. And yes, they would find out eventually, so would the rest of the family, always freakin’ happens. May as well prepare them ahead of time, so everyone is cool later.

  9. If I were you (and I’m totally NOT so just take this as my opinion) I wouldn’t ask a family member.

    Why? Because many people will not only know about the egg donation (which isn’t a big deal really) but will also know who the genetic mother is. That might be hard to deal with later on for your niece (21 is so young), her parents, or your children, even if it’s no big deal for you and your husband.

    But that’s just me. Your family could be totally different & everyone could be really cool about it & it might never cause any issues.

  10. just curious, have you read “Waiting for Daisy”? In that book they do a cycle with a young egg donor (a close friend but not a family member) and there are some issues with it. it might be worth a read if you are thinking about this.

    hugs!

  11. Maybe you could ask her if she knows anyone who might be willing to donate instead of asking her directly and putting her on the spot. At that age, I would have been really uncomfortable with a question like that.

  12. How often do you see this niece, and what are the family dynamics like overall? If it’s someone you see infrequently and your family is issue free…I assume you’re still going to offer to financially compensate her for her trouble?

    I have relatives who offer assistance all the time, but the offers are hollow and they’d lord it over me later, so…no.

  13. Dear DD, while I’m thrilled about the idea of a family member doing this, I’m not so sure about asking — have you thought about just telling her about your situation and letting it sink in a little? With such a big thing, it’s always better if the offer comes from the other person. You want to make sure she is on board completely. I know that can be a bit hit-and-miss, but at least you don’t put her on the spot.

    This is leaving aside the other valid considerations that have been brought up.

  14. I considered asking my younger sister but decided against it. I decided that I wanted this baby to be all mine, not belonging a bit to someone else who would see a lot of it. Plus she has no children yet plus my DH was freaked out by the idea.

    But there may be no harm in explaining the situation to her if it’s what you want, and seeing what she thinks of it.

  15. I guess it would depend on if you feel she is mature enough to handle the emotional aspect of it…and would your family be okay with it?

  16. Can I add another option? I would proceed with caution. Assuming a child would result, how would you handle issues about family relationships or this neice’s requests to be around the child? It would be similar to adopting from within a family.

  17. Hope you’re enjoying your vacation! I definitely think it can’t hurt to ask.


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