Posted by: DD | August 7, 2007

no. 493 – When the Lost is Lost and When the Lost is Found

I’m quickly approaching my two year blogging anniversary. I’m amazed at my own persistence and perseverance – if I do say so myself. Case in point: before I started a blog and was just lurking, I would be in awe at some bloggers’ lists of archives. It wasn’t unusual to see 2002, 2003 or 2004 on the sidebar. When I started my first blog, I certainly never imagined seeing more than 2005 in my own archives. I had baby dust in my eyes back then.

But it’s not so much of how things have changed for me as they have for many others, especially those who no longer grace us with their virtual journals. Their blogs were either deleted permanently or they may have just become silent, but their presence is always there reminding me of both what can be miraculous and what can be heartbreaking when it comes to blogging.

This seems a good moment to send best wishes to Karrie, One Weird Mother who recently made the decision to explore and expand upon her writing talents outside of her blog.

There are others who have decided to move to a more private and exclusive locale. When invited, I am giddy with the feeling of sisterhood and acceptance (even if they did so out of sheer pity). When I’m not invited, I remind myself that they are doing what is best for them and that I would do the same.

I miss the bloggers who were so inspirational at a time I was a blogging novice. I miss ladies who posted regularly like Catizere, DinoD, mm, Milenka, Mary Scarlett, Wavery, PortLairge and Ornery. Some of you may be lucky enough to know their stories without clicking over to their blog for reminders. More than likely for many others, you may see links on their side bars you haven’t seen anywhere else. I am lucky because my path crossed theirs at some point long ago and the impressions were powerful and memorable.

As I was scrolling through all the comments I have received since I first started my blog, it was bittersweet. So many names. Some that only stopped by once or twice; others who were there for a a cycle or two and then never came back. I admit that I am to blame in some of those cases. I could no longer nurture the bond for a couple of reasons: their cycle succeeded where mine failed and I felt left behind and just couldn’t bear to play witness to their pregnancy; or they wrote about something that went against my personal moral judgment and I withdrew.

To bring you all back to the here and now on a positive note, here’s a nod to a blogger who disappeared, and then quietly reappeared. You might remember Sunnie from The.Sunnie.Side.Up who decided to stop fertility treatments in October of 2006? Shortly afterward, she shut down her blog and for nearly a year and a couple of random google searches by me for "Sunnie Side Up" (you know, just in case), there was silence. A month ago I received a comment from her under her new name StillaMomma.

StillamommaSunnie, now StillaMomma had become a Momma to a gorgeous baby girl in February 2007. StillaMomma even included a picture in a recent email that she gave me permission to share with you. She also has started writing again in a private blog, which she invites those interested in catching up with her story to leave a comment on the About page of her blog.

I’m so happy to hear from her again and to know that her story is a joyous one.



  1. That is one beautiful little girl.

  2. Ditto, she looks a lot like Piper.
    I turned my head and Karrie disappeared? What the hell?

  3. Bittersweet indeed. I have only been at this a year, well have year if you count my repeated breaks, but when I read back to my first blog I cry because I really thought things would be different right now and blogging then would just help me get through the then present. Boy was I naive…

  4. I know what you mean. I’ve only been doing this a year and some of my favourite blogs have disappeared already! I miss them, but to be honest, I always feel kind of funny about it, because a few of them (not the ladies above) have become my friends by email, then…..nothing. Like when the blog disappears, so do the relationships. Sad….

  5. I’m very sad about Karrie, particularly because I just discovered her.

    That’s wonderful about StillaMomma. It’s so nice to know that there was a happy ending and more….

  6. Thanks for the info. I hope you get your happy ending too!!

  7. pfft, i’ve been doing it for longer than you pthpthpthpthp.

    Just kidding.

    I love reading my archives and old comments too, and wonder where some people disappeared to. It’s amazing that I’ve kept it up as long as I have. And here it was considered a passing fad in 02.

    I try to, everyday, or at least a few times a week if I can, go back to the date in my archives and read was I was doing a year ago, two years etc. It’s kind of neat.

  8. I agree with what others have said here. There are many bloggers that I loved reading and would comment on, but not on a regular basis due to life/job constraints. ThinPinkLine, Beagle and too many others to name. I am grateful for the short time I was allowed into their lives.

  9. Mel started a lost and found. Maybe that will help.

    PS Kellie, I’m still around!

  10. What a GORGEOUS baby. I was wondering about SunnieSide recently. Thanks for the update.

  11. Ah, gone but not forgotten, it’s balm to my tattered ego. Okay, well, maybe I’m not exactly gone but rather less bloggy then I used to be?

    I miss Julianna and Emily. It’s wonderful to hear about happy endings involving babies but my heart still resides with those who had to drastically alter their idea of a happy ending.

    Even if I stop blogging, I will keep up with those of you that I started following a year or so ago. But I don’t generally start reading new blogs so some of you must stay around or I will be religated to news groups and such.


  12. I have been reading Stillamomma for a while, and I am so thrilled to have her back in this community. It’s pushing 2 years for me now too. Crazy…

  13. I’m still here too….Promise a post tomorrow!

  14. It is nice to know that there is a whole online community of women going through the same thing. Less lonely.

  15. I too get a bit misty about some of the ones that no longer post. I worry and fret about a few of them and the ones that occasionally post I get all giddy and quick go to their page to read what is new. Jill from – so very happy for her even if she had to alter her plans for happiness… DinoD well again change in plans… and I am so thankful for the friendships I have found… you, Dino, Jill… etc because truthfully it has made all of this so much easier to deal with knowing I have people out in the world that care enough to comment and think about me on occasion.

    Happy Blogaversary! Keep writing – we’ll keep reading. Lots of love to you and congrats to Sunnie!

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