Posted by: DD | August 29, 2007

no. 509 – Road Rage

First, a housekeeping note: I had to turn on the verification for comments because I have been getting spammed to death. Sorry as I know that it’s an annoying inconvenience, but the longer I let it continue, the more spam I get daily.

I love experiencing crabbier people than myself. It may seem impossible, but really, they are out there.

This afternoon I enjoyed the following exchange:

I was at a red light waiting for a break in the traffic to turn right. It was not one of those intersections that restrict right turns on red.

After a few cars went by, I took advantage of a lag and pulled into the traffic. No problem.

Except suddenly in my rear view mirror I noticed lights flashing.

No, it wasn’t the police.

It was a prick with his very own brand new suv flashing his headlights at me in irritation as he tried to barrel up my asshole, otherwise known as my tailpipe.

He then proceeded to give me the finger.

In response I gave one of those "teaching the baby how to wave" waves (I’ve learned that nothing fuels fury than being sweetly ignorant to the fury) and lifted my foot from the accelerator.

He then shook his middle finger at me in what could have easily been described as an epileptic seizure.

Before I could respond by slamming on my brakes, sending his previously free hand to the steering wheel in a death grip before rear-ending me, the best part of the whole fracas happens:

His Woman reached over and slapped his hand down and proceeded to verbally rip him a new one.

I guess those weren’t fuzzy dice hanging from his mirror.



  1. Haha! I love it. Can’t stand it when folks think they’re getting anywhere faster by tailgaiting. Just makes me go more slowly, too. Bet you’d like to take those lights and shove them up his tailpipe, huh?

  2. Kudos to both of the women involved in this exchange! Women SHOULD rule the world!

  3. Love it! I love to send out love to those type of people also. First, it makes me feel self-righteous, like I am a better person because I didn’t roll down my window and hurl maledictions at them (ok, I’ve done it before but rarely). But the real reason is exactly what you stated.. it pisses them off even more. Sometimes it’s almost worth it happening when you can get someone their comeuppance. BTW, thanks for the bling!!!

  4. Hehe…love it!

  5. Oh, damn, that just gave me the biggest laugh of day – no, the week! Fuzzy dice, heh, heh.

  6. That was a good one… love the fuzzy dice comment!

  7. I am totally going to have to use the “fuzzy dice” thing on BigP now…

    If you want to see some crabby people, you should come to work with me. I actually had a man get upset with me the other day because there was a CREDIT on his account. Not a fee, a credit.

  8. Oh…I got it!!


    Good for her!

  9. Tee hee.

  10. LMAO @ fuzzy dice!

  11. You made me spit out my morning beverage… all in the middle of a dog barking fest. I laughed so hard I had tears coming down… those definitely weren’t fuzzy dice in the mirror. Good for her and good for you for not letting the asshole get the best of you.

  12. Awesome! I would have done just the same thing!

  13. Oh, that is PRICELESS!!! I love that woman. She rocks.

    (Love the fuzzy dice comment!)

  14. NOthing like a hick with their own cop lights. I guess he needed the lights to compensate for his lack of, well, huh….

    Do any folks in your area hove those stupid sirens or song playing horns? The Dukes of HAzzard theme song blasts off my trashy neighbors Honda Civic. I didn’t know a Hinda Civis could be bad A**…

  15. I drive just like you, DD. Just like you.

  16. Dear DD, I’m just catching up now (guests in my study are making things a bit tricky) — I’m so glad you had a good visit up North. And congratulations on getting nominated twice! You deserve head-to-toe tags, my dear, because you do rock.

    As for the road rage incident — my goodness. One of those incidents that I would have a little nervous fit over if they happened to me, but that I love reading about later, particularly if the offender gets such a great comeuppance.

  17. I have some road rage- but when I seem to spark road rage in others by doing nothing that should spark the rage…well I laugh at them and torture them the way you did. I love you even more now DD!

  18. You so deserve that rocking blogger award! Because you ROCK! Love your response to the asshole. And his woman’s too!

  19. Oh, I love this story!

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