Posted by: DD | October 31, 2007

The Ball

…is not just rolling, it is suddenly spinning at a mind-boggling rpm.

Tonight is the first night in 38 days that I will not have to give myself an injection.

No alcohol wipes, which are drying out my index finger and thumb to the point I can snag my nylons.

No need to remember just which thigh did I inject last night and then thinking oh shit!after I realize after I gave myself the Lupron that it was the same thigh.

No need to use a freckle or mole as my target area.

Unfortunately, tonight is my only reprieve from the needle.

Tomorrow night I start the PIO.

Friday morning Mr. DD goes in to provide the sample for spinning and washing and fertilization of our donors eggs.

I will then be contacted on Saturday regarding fertilization status. I’ve forgotten just how stressful those three days between retrieval and transfer can be.

Transfer will be Monday, if there’s anything worth a crap to transfer, which I’m pretty sure there will be but the pessimistic side of me also knows that it’s within the realm of possibility that there won’t.

The realm of possibility…

***************

Today I moved my 23rd bloglines’ feed from “Infertility Sucks” to “Pregnant and Hating It” category on bloglines. It marks the first time since I started blogging over two years ago that the pregnant have outnumbered the waiting.

For those who have made it to that next category, forgive me if I don’t stop by much, if at all, these next few weeks. It’s too hard for me to do. I can blame the timing, or my hormones, or my busy schedule, but it’s none of these.

I just can’t bear to be the one to break the streak that seems to be running rampant lately and maybe by distancing myself a little before that possibility, it won’t be so noticeable if I stop coming by indefinitely.

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Responses

  1. I understand what you mean about needing to distance yourself. I’ve had to do that in the past and I can see needing to do it again in the future.

    But. Great news on your cycle! I can’t believe how long it’s taken to get to this point! Here’s hoping everything goes much quicker now.

  2. At first, in my head, I thought oh yeah, she moved all those OTHER people I guess—-and then I realized, you must’ve moved me too.

    We really need another designation for recurrent miscarriers, y’know? Like “Almost sort of maybe pregnant, but might not be tommorow.” Not very elegant, but a lot different from the safely pregnant crowd.

  3. Yay! I’m glad you are almost to transfer.

    As one of the people still on the infertile side of Bloglines, I know what you mean. Seems there are fewer and fewer of us. I am hoping the luck folllows us, it has to!

  4. I am such a human pretzel for you right now, hoping hoping hoping. When you are too scared to hope, I ‘ll do it for you. Hang in there! It’s almost time!

  5. DD,

    Good luck with your donor (retrieval, fertilization and transfer). I hope it goes swimmingly. Hopefully the wait will be more than worth it.

  6. DD, I truly hope that this cycle brings good things.

    If it helps, I seem to be doing a fantastic one-woman job of mopping up any owing BFN’s so hopefully I get your BFN. πŸ™‚

    If that even makes sense,

    J

  7. I wish I could say something that would make it even the slightest bit better. But I get it. {{{hugs}}}

  8. DD – tell me why I am so insanely excited about this cycle for you. And you know I don’t get excited about much (being the bitter old hag I am).
    Ahem… from now on I will tone it down and refuse to let my inner cheerleader take over. And if it’s a BFN, I will send you a package or give you a phone call or something so with that threat, hopefully the BFN will stay away.
    I know this comment sounds flippant but I do understand where you are – we quit after IVF number 4 and I spent years trying to accept that (prior to our little miracle). If hoping helps, you’ll be getting a lot of help from over here.
    (I don’t comment much but you know I always keep up with you).
    DinoD

  9. Wishing you all the best DD! I know what you mean about the lists. I’m getting ready for my last cycle, and I’m not sure how I feel about the current wave. I really want to join it but don’t think it will ever happen. But I think it is for you πŸ™‚

  10. I was nodding my head in agreement and then suddenly thought “Don’t move me yet”. How selfish when you are just about ready to burst with the waiting for the donor. I am here, holding your hand over the satellite airwaves. I know.

    PS so Mr DD has had his last despunking then??? Are you going to to do the marital deed on Sunday night before transfer?? I find it helps with the stress πŸ˜‰

  11. I am thinking good thoughts for you and crossing my fingers and toes and eyes. Seriously, I look ridiculous. πŸ˜‰

  12. It’s here, it’s here! I can’t believe it. As K&M said perfectly, I’m a human pretzel I want this so badly for you.

  13. Crossing everything for you DD!!! Enjoy your injection free day. I’ve ventured out of the adoption blog world but stuck mostly to the mommy blogs – I can’t handle too many pregnancies in my world. Although for me, it is less about getting pregnant now and more about figuring out how in the world we will afford a second adoption (or the infertility treatments if we go that route) before my daughter starts driving.

  14. I am just sending a ton of good thoughts for transfer.

  15. I totally get the need to take a break from things. Do what you gotta do; we’ll be here when you feel like posting.

    I also want to let you know that I am rooting for you with this cycle. I hope you get a bumper crop of good quality fertilized eggs and that you receive the best news possible in a few weeks! Will be thinking of you non-stop over the next several days.

  16. I’m reading you anyway, and wishing you the very best of luck

    xxx

  17. Well, if truth be told, I kinda miss your comments! But, I do get it from your point of view, so I’m still reading and hoping and praying and I’ll be putting you in my “pregnant” bloglines category soon I’m sure and then you’ll have to start commenting again, right πŸ™‚

    XXX

  18. I understand, I would do the same. And I miss you too! Can’t tell you how much I can’t wait for you to move yourself to the “Pregnant and hating it” category.

  19. Sending good vibes for epu and tfer, and I’m doing the same thing with the pregnancy blogs – denial is more than jsut a river in Egypt.

  20. What, pregnancy blogs still exist? I have eliminated them from my radar (trying to). As longs as I am stuck in the infertile category that is where I will focus my blog reading outside of adoption.

  21. hey, whether or not you can stop by, I’ll be here, rooting for you.

  22. Wishing you all the best.

  23. At least I know where to stalk you. Just kidding! I really hope all goes well and I will be checking in here like mad for the next couple weeks.
    Good luck!
    Tracie

  24. All the best vibes I can muster for you – fingers and toes and everything else I can possibly manage to cross is tightly crossed for you.

    You don’t need to justify anything – do whatever you have to do to keep your sanity.

    xxxx

  25. I forgot to check over here, and then I had to search through all my emails to find the password– I’m glad I did.

    I’m crossing my fingers, and I know I’ll be thinking of you all weekend. I really, really, really want this to work for you.

  26. Thinking so very many good thoughts for you. Enjoy that one shot-free day because it’s going to be weeks and weeks until that happens again.

    I don’t even bother to update my links because, well, all the things you wrote about.

    Wishing an easy and fruitful retrieval for your donor and a sweet sweet transfer for you.

  27. Good luck on Monday


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