Posted by: DD | January 30, 2008

no. 588 – Hot, Cross, Buns

Yesterday, after work, I went to the grocery store. While waiting in the check-out line, I perused the magazines and picked out In Style to take home with me.

The current issue has Halle Barry in the cliche Madonna pose where she has a hand under her gestating abdomen. The checker looked over the cover while I was preparing my payment and she said, "Oh! Do you have a bun in the oven?"

I physically froze while in my head, I was saying What. The. Fuck!

"Haha! Me? No!" I answered.

What kind of question is that for a complete stranger to ask another person, a customer, based on the cover of a magazine? Sure, I’m probably overreacting to it (as some in the "fertile" community believe we do, but screw them because I am not only entitled to my bitterness, I fucking earned it!), but it really bothered me.

Even worse, what if this had happened to me six months ago, just after my last miscarriage? Or in my two-week wait, or shit! any other time for any one of us?!

Here’s the cover, by the way. I should mention as I was reading through her article that the writer noted that she was about to "give birth any minute!" when in fact, she’s not due until March. Yep. That’s any minute now. Idiot.

Halle

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Responses

  1. I always think the best answer to that question is: “Nope. Just fat.” It may or may not be true but it generally makes the person asking the question fee like crap. I figure, why should I hog all the self-loathing for myself?

  2. you do realize that when asked that question–at any time–that you are allowed to roll up said magazine and smack the offending inquisitor up side the head.

    Really! It’s in the Constitution or something. Bill of Rights maybe.

    But it’s there.

    Trust me…

  3. “screw them because I am not only entitled to my bitterness, I fucking earned it!”

    *snort*

    Notice Halle’s dressed in white, too? Hrm.

  4. Hee hee hee 🙂

  5. So my question is, why would she ask? Are you showing that much? Probably not, but on behalf of those who us who showed at 9 weeks…maybe she was just noticing something you can’t hide hon?

    Personally, I was as big as a house by the time I hit your stage.

  6. I’m probably overreacting to it (as some in the “fertile” community believe we do, but screw them because I am not only entitled to my bitterness, I fucking earned it!), but it really bothered me.

    Overreacting, FUCK NO. Who asks someone if they have a bun in the oven? Entirely inappropriate. At an event yesterday I told someone we could not get another dog because we have a child on the way. He looked me up and down and then said, that’s a smart idea. I informed him he was a smart man for not asking me when I was due. Torture? Perhaps…I too feel entitled to my snark.

  7. Annoying, rude, etc. It’s NEVER appropriate to ask that question.

  8. Never ever ever! Until it’s way obvious. And then you don’t need to ask.

    Plus, who says “bun in the oven”???

  9. Wow – how ignorant – and ballsy I might add. I promise you none of us would have thought any less of you had you popped her one in the jaw. In fact, I’m looking forward to the day someone snaps and actually does that…. one can dream right?


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