Posted by: DD | February 13, 2008

NON-FUNCTIONING LIFE FORM

And the familiar sense of panic settles back in…

I’ll be 17 weeks tomorrow. At what point should I “pop” (like I’m a goddamn turkey button or something)? I’m no bigger right now then I was at 10w. OK, I’m a little bigger but certainly not by much. My OB said at my last appt that my uterine growth appears to be on track, but I swear there’s no growth.

Heart-rate seems to be OK. I was finally able to get a count of about 143. I hear movement through the doppler, but don’t feel anything.

I can’t believe I’m bitching about this, but I am. I honestly thought that I would have something to show by now besides looking like I’m partaking in too many ho-hos and raspberry white-chocolate mochas (curse those stupid studies on caffeine for making me feel even more guilty!).

I thought it was because I’m now only wearing maternity pants, which can be too comfortable. Maybe I should try stuffing my butt into my regular pants to get a better handle on what’s going on?

You want to hear the crazy reason why I’m stressing about this? In a week or so we plan on telling XBoy. I was hoping that by then we could have visual proof.

This sucks: I bitch because I don’t want anyone to notice; and I bitch because there’s nothing to notice. Gawd, I’ve got issues on top of my issues, don’t I?

And apropos to nothing, my left hand smells like a cigarette; and I ordered the wrong type of blinds for the spare bedroom so now Mr. DD has to rig up some shims in order to hang them since they were custom cut.

I need a drink. Or some ice cream. Or both.

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Responses

  1. How about some alcohol flavored ice cream?

    You can have my belly . . .

  2. Ah, the belly will come…although, having said that, no one knew my mother was pregnant until she was about 7 months along, and I’ve seen other women like that, too.

    On a personal moan, what’s worse is having popped and nobody noticing. At all. Oh well, the perils of being fat and infertile.

  3. I keep waiting to look pregnant instead of fat. I’m sure I’ll want to go back once I get my wish. And I’ve asked Steve if he thought the hospital would let him bring me a drink after I give birth.

    Sorry it is all causing you anxiety.

  4. Michelle, *it’s* not causing me the anxiety…I’m causing myself anxiety.

    Also, I’m sure Steve can sneak you in a drink (or two) but you might have to think about that other troublesome option of breastfeeding.

    I think I blew another brain cell.

  5. I like the alcohol flavored ice cream idea of beagle’s. Hrm. What kind? B&J USED to have a fantastic white russian flavor… but now you have to go to the plant in VT in order to get it. Which would be a bit of a drive from Neb.

    I hated the “fat” stage. May it be over for you very soon.

  6. The title of this post caused me anxiety.

    Really. I was a little nuts until about 24 weeks. I really loathe irrational anxiety and have been feeling that way lately myself, if you haven’t noticed :-).

  7. You’ll pop soon, it’s hard to tell when you are looking at yourself in the mirror. Wait until other people see you. Hey, is there a friend you can ask? Maybe they can help you get an idea?

  8. I don’t think I popped until about 24 weeks. And all of a sudden became really uncomfortable.

    If you have access you can see my flickr pictures. At 18 weeks, I was still just looking fat.

  9. No more titles that can be misinterpreted please!!!!!!!

    I am still in normal jeans (with Bella band) at 25 weeks. Nobody notices I am pregnant. I also obsess over baby’s size and dates every time I see obs. Last time I got her to reassure me three times that because baby was measuring 3 days behind, this was not a cause for concern. I keep telling myself that I will relax a little when I get to x weeks. 30 is my current target.

  10. You need a Shaken Jesse Milkshake: Chocolate Ice Cream, shot of espresso (or two) and Guiness.

    The chocolate studies should be inducing less guilt and more chocolate consumption.

  11. With Ant I could see a difference at about 15 weeks, but I don’t think it was obvious until somewhere around 22. In the meantime, I like the Shaken Jesse!

  12. I wish I had something comforting to say. With Jason I was worried up until a week before. Hell, I called the ob on call at about 36 weeks afraid b/c I hadn’t felt any movement all day – went to the hospital, because of course this wasn’t during office hours, and all was okay. I wish that I could tell you that it would get easier. Hopefully for you it will.
    kp

  13. A week may change A LOT. I only have a few memories of my mom’s belly, but was facinated with the heartbeat. This was during my sister’s gestation, obviously, since I am not THAT smart.

    Plus, since I have seen you IRl, I know how tall you are and man that can stretch out any baby belly.

    17 weeks, jimminy crickets!

    Must get back to work but I had to give a sister some love.

  14. DD, I am kinda glad your belly size (or lack thereof) seems to be the problem of the day…because I just can’t take it seriously 🙂 Sorry.

    The belly will grow and in the meantime use ultrasound pictures for x-boy.

    Am I not super supportive today?

  15. why the hell does your left hand smell like cigs???

  16. I vote for ice cream. Always works for me.

    And FWIW after rounding it up early on, I now feel no bigger whatsoever and it scares the heck outta me, after all isn’t there two in there?

    Or is someone kidding with me?

    J

  17. Do you have a long torso? Every friend I have with one (myself included) never really popped, as the wee one just had more room to hang out in than in more compact gestaters.

    Glad you have things like this to obsess over, and hoping you find a good way to drown your sorrows. Does B&J overnight straight from the plant? 😉


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