Posted by: DD | March 11, 2008

no. 616 – I Can Stop Anytime

OK, ok. I get that the doppler is nothing more than crack cocaine ramped on a 9-volt battery with a side of blue goo (I’m going to convince myself that the goo will keep my skin soft and supple to ward off stretch marks). I also get that my paranoia about Murdock is wearing your tolerance thin.

Don’t you think I want to be all happy-clappy about this? I keep telling myself that one of these days it’s going to happen…but let’s not fool ourselves (me), OK? I know that even if Murdock is delivered healthy, I’m going to be that Mom who will keep him/her cloistered away until they are 18 (and 1/2) years old – not to mention keeping him/her sleeping on one of those motion-alarm-bed thingys even through college.

And as sick as you may get hearing about it once in a while, you are the only ones I can really tell this to. I don’t have to see your eyes roll or hear the clucking of your tongues. The internet has so many advantages.

My next appointment is April 2. The receptionist suggested April 1 and I almost reached across the counter and conked her on the head, V8 style. I also told my OB that I had borrowed a doppler. He told me he wasn’t surprised.

I promise to try to control my doppler obsession. I’d hate to think that under the guise of a baby shower, I’d be walking into a Doppler Intervention arranged by my blogging friends.

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Responses

  1. I think you’re anxiety is normal considering your history. And where else can you vent about it if not on your own blog?

  2. You sooo don’t need to control the habit or apologise for venting. I don’t think any of us are remotely surprised you feel the way you do and my heart skipped a beat when I read the start of your last post so I think you need to start those kinds of posts with “don’t worry, it is ALL good.. but…” in the future!! 😉

  3. No eye-rolling OR tongue-clucking over here.

    I don’t see anything wrong with your using the doppler to ease your anxiety. That’s what those are for.

    If you’re still using it in August, I’ll call Dr. Drew on your doppler-addicted-ass. Maybe the gel has some pharmaceutical-psychedelic effect? Ha! That reminds me. I heard on the radio that Philly’s water supply has “trace” amounts of pharmaceuticals in it.
    I hope its Prozac or valium, not caduet or valtrex. It would certainly make me drink more water if it had happy drugs in it.

  4. I don’t see anything wrong with your doppler obsession either. I think I’d be more worried if all of sudden you turned into one of those glowing clueless pregnant woman that talk nonstop about the color of the nursery and which breast pump comes in the cutest bag. Then I’d have to drive down there and slap you myself.

  5. Hey. No judging here – I’m freaking 36 weeks and I can’t bring myself to say unequivocally that I’m actually going to bring a baby home.

    So vent away, sister. I ain’t rolling my eyes. OR clucking my tongue.

    (just using the word “ain’t.”)

  6. It is your blog – vent away.

    But I have to admit to laughing out loud at the intervention described as a shower.

  7. Honey, if that Doppler makes you happy then you use it as much as you want. OK, so you may not always find the heart beat right away and it may cause you some stress. But you always do find it, and imagine how much the stress would be if you had to get on the phone with the OB and drive all the way in for them to find it.

    My eyes are not rolling, nor is my tongue clicking.

  8. My eyes aren’t rolling…it’s okay to obsess, although I agree that if you are still using it in August….

  9. My eyes are firmly pointed forwards, my dear. You feel what you feel, and some of those feelings are damn scary. Of course you’d turn them off if you could.

    The Doppler is a good thing, in my opinion — 10 or 15 minutes of terror is better than hours of it, no?

    I like your intervention idea!

  10. Do not apologize! You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Keep on trucking, my dear….

  11. Doppler Intervention . . . love it! LOL

    You gotta do what you gotta do, who am I to judge over here from my own special brand of crazy??

    You know, (not quite on topic) I worry about one thing you said here: the worry after s/he is born. I was like that even as early on as a kid babysitting. I used to check if the kids were breathing once they went to sleep. If I did that at 12, how will I ever do actual motherhood??

    Stay tuned . . .

    I’m curious, were you a relaxed or a worried mom when X was an infant?

    Anyway, you have my full empathy here.

  12. I didn’t return mine until AFTER Max was born and even listened to his heart from the outside. Do what ya gotta do! Vent all you need to!

  13. I keep wavering on whether or not I will try to get one of those…

    I totally get your uneasiness and I’ll listen to it until you give birth – and after…

  14. I had a doppler with the girls and used it ever single day without fail. Frankly, it was the only thing that kept me sane. This time I can’t really afford one and am determined to soldier on without, but I imagine you’re aware of how neurotic I’ve become having not seen or heard a heartbeat in nearly 6 weeks. I’m no longer convinced things are progressing. Honestly, I think the doppler is a Very.Good.Thing if it helps to keep you as sane as possible, DD!

  15. “Cluck, cluck, cluck” (eyes roll) – am I the only one that will admit you knew what I was doing?

    I didn’t use a doppler as I knew the reassurance would only last a few minutes and I was worried about what incessant use would do to my progeny (like being hampered with my genetic lineage isn’t enough).

    DinoD (the one with crocodile hide)

  16. I think whether a Doppler is a good idea or not is dependent on the individual circumstances. Yes, you had a freaky few hours yesterday, but think about all the times the Doppler obviously gave you peace of mind. It seems to me, those times outweigh the scary hours you had yesterday.

    Now, if there were lots of times where you couldn’t find the heartbeat at first then found it later, after hours of being a wreck, then you bet we’d all come over for a Doppler intervention!

  17. I can’t roll my eyes because I rented a doppler and didn’t send it back until L was 3 months old. Despite the scare yesterday, I think more often then not the doppler offers you peace of mind so stay with it and strike it off your list of things to worry about.

  18. You mean they have to stop sleeping on those motion-alarm-bed thingys when they’re in college?!

  19. DAMN! We already had the intervention party favors ordered 🙂

    I don’t think this group does any eyerolling or clucking..we all get it.

    I still have my teens tethered and don’t apologize for it..they scream quite often but I can put the old fingers in the ears and sing-lalalalala and it almost drowns them out.

  20. You have every right to use whatever you need to try and ward off the DBTs. More so due to the anterior placenta thing, IMHO. Hang in there as best you can, day by day.


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