Posted by: DD | May 13, 2008

no. 657 – Don’t Forget Safety Goggles

The following is a test of your imagination and powers of deduction.

First, take one beach ball and inflate to maximum and seal. Sit down and put the beach ball on your lap and liberally apply any kind of handy lubricant (Vaseline, baby oil, KY Jelly, whatever).

Take one large rubberband. Pull taut in order to stretch larger than the beach ball. Try to encircle lubed beach ball with rubberband.

Now let’s say you were at least successful in getting the rubberband unto the circumference of the beach ball, but now let go of the rubberband (however make sure to hold onto the beach ball).

What happened to the rubberband?

Now you know what is happening to the elastic bands of my maternity pants…

…unless of course you had the rubberband suddenly rise up and snap you in the eye, which I must admit that things haven’t quite got that bad.



  1. When I was pregnant with Alex, I went through a ton of maternity pants. Mainly because my ass felt left out by my belly and decided to grow, too.

  2. Thankfully, when I was pregnant, stretch pants were in. So – I bought some several sizes up, and wore those the whole 9 months. Sure, you might say “fashion faux pas” – I was damn comfy the whole 9 months!

  3. Wait, you’re putting KY on your belly?

    What haven’t you told us about, DD?

  4. So are you saying that your pants fit like those on a rotund repair man? Slung a “little” below the waistline? At least yours isn’t from too much beer 🙂

  5. :O I think I’d better duck and cover!

  6. Some of my regulars are starting to roll…I’m gonna have to start making different stacks in my drawer so I will know which ones I can wear and which ones I can’t. It sucks to be walking through the store and they roll all the way down!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: