Posted by: DD | September 4, 2008

CRAZY SUMSOFBITCHES

Here’s what is crazy to me:

The men in the credit consolidating commercials all seem to be sporting hair plugs. What is wrong with a receding hairline anyway? I think balding men are kind of handsome. I also think if you were going to go with an “actor portrayal” you would use regular looking Joes and Janes, not some idiot who spent way to much money to look as if someone used a sharpie to draw in his hair. 

Couples who either do the family bed or co-sleeping thing. To each their own and all that jazz, but just from the few times Mr. DD has put ZGirl down where he was sleeping to calm her down, it’s about as relaxing to me as if someone had stuffed a raccoon and weasel into a pillow case next to me – what with all that snuffling, snorting and flailing. And that’s while she’s sleeping.

Packaging on baby bottle nipples. “Most like Mother’s breast.” Interesting, since I’m sure my nipples are not a strange shade of green, or clear, or hard, or cold. You can bring evidence of the contrary upon my death.

My father-in-law’s political opinions. I’m not sure even where to start but for him to have to even contemplate that our next president may be (shhhhhhh) black, or the VP may be a (gasp!) woman must make his brain spin. Last night he told us that he was talking with a friend of ours who this year decided the private school tuition was too high so he put his girls into the public school. This father then complained that it seemed as if the kids spent 2/3 of their class time reading, to which my FIL responded, “It’s because of that bullshit about the ‘no children left behind’ (an act signed by Bush in 2001).” What an ignorant ass.

Related to above, schools that are anal about the supplies kids are to bring with them. You want me to put my son’s name on each individual crayon and pencils, and not his initials since if the item is found by another student they won’t know who the initials belong to?…Right. I know for a fact that the crayons my son brought home at the end of his kindergarten year were not all his. And the pencils? Cripes, with so many parents giving out pencils instead of candy for Valentine’s or Birthday’s, I have enough pencils to side my house with.

Lastly, I admit that I am also one of the crazy sumsofbitches. I finally downloaded the BookSmart program by Blurb and I have found a new diversion. I’m making ZGirl’s baby book. I will make one for XBoy. I think I’ll even make a book for each year he’s in school and download pictures of his crafts and homework to it instead of saving paper that will eventually end up as nesting material for mice (I speak from personal experience). It’s better than scrapbooking! Wait, I don’t scrapbook because that’s C.R.A.Z.Y., too (no offense).

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Responses

  1. I confess…I am a crazy scrapbookin’ sumovabitch. Don’t hate me because I’m crafty!

  2. I hate of the cosleeping too. Not other people that do it, just the thought of trying it. My kids could easily pass for Energizer bunnies, and laying down with Mom is not exactly cause for sleep. It’s more cause for poking me in the eyeballs.

  3. Making a book on Blurb was one of the most satisfying projects I ever completed.

    Eh, I tried to be a scrapper… but I don’t have the attention span.

  4. So wait, you won’t like the scrapbooked album I’m making for you? I’m so upset now.

  5. I’m no good at scrapbooking either. I try and then I get glue everywhere and it just doesn’t work.

    I hope that I can do one of those programs one day.

  6. I must see this BookSmart!

    All the ladies I work with are into card making. While I admire it and think it might be fun, I can’t fathom spending all that money on supplies when cards are so cheap. And they just get thrown out anyway, and that would just piss me off.

  7. Oh, and those baby toes over there on the right are TO DIE FOR! I am a sucker for baby toes!

  8. School supplies… yikes I am not looking forward to that one! I think I will just bite all the pencils then no one will want them anyway! (And if they wonder who’s they are they can match em up with my teeth!)

    Sleeping mushed up baby… so cute!

    Hey you’s treading in deep water with the scrapbooking! LOL!

    Looks like you may be getting a little more sleep?

  9. I co-slept with Kenna a lot when she was super tiny. She was swaddled, so no flailing. I just let her sleep with us last night. Much more squirmy, but still nice. It’s the only time she is snuggly.

  10. Co sleeping can be dangerous…not to the child but to the parent of the child that is 1/2 windmill and somehow always ends up with his/her feet at parent nostril level.

    Scrapbook?? Shit, my last one doesn’t even have a baby book.

  11. Co-sleeping?? NO!! I had nightmares all of the time with ds that he was in our bed and I couldn’t find him. In the beginning I would wake up dh in the middle of the night while I was frantically looking in the covers for the baby who was soundly sleeping in his crib.
    And I have to admit, I’m a scrapbooker-don’t hate me!!
    Karen

  12. Blurb is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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