Posted by: DD | October 15, 2009

WHAT MATTERS

I will honestly admit that I forgot that today was THAT day, THE day set aside by someone who like me – and tragically – like too many others, felt more awareness was needed. Today, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

And while I forgot that today was that day, I wake up every morning knowing that something is missing from my life. Would I have smiled more, cried more, loved more? Would I have found peace sooner, stopped blogging sooner?

I am reminded of a little trick I use to deal with things that hurt or irritate or anger me in which I ask myself, will it matter in 5 minutes? Will it matter in 5 days? Will it matter in 5 months?

How about in 5 years? I can tell you that for me, it has been 5 years come this November. It still matters. It always will.

  1. Pregnancy #2: Vivienne Elise – Death November 2004 at 15wks GA, EDD May 2005
  2. Pregnancy #3: Death December 2005, chemical, EDD September 2006
  3. Pregnancy #4: Wolf – Death October 2006 at 8wks GA, EDD June 2007
  4. Pregnancy #5: Death May 2007, EDD February 2008

I don’t light a candle. The small flames flicker in my heart and they will never, ever be extinguished.

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Responses

  1. Amen, sister.

  2. I don’t really need a special day set aside to remember. It is always sitting in a dusty corner of my brain.

    All of my losses were little girls. Occasionally I will get smacked in the face with a girl that is the age mine would be and for a moment, I get lost in my thoughts. Nobody notices, but then again, nobody can take those thoughts away.

  3. Thinking of you. And I’m glad to see that while the hurt will always occupy brain space and heart space, it doesn’t appear to be center stage in the way in was 2 or 3 or 4 years ago.

  4. Thinking of you

  5. Holding you all close.

  6. For me the first 5 years comes next May. I will remember sure but not in the same way.

  7. I am sorry for your loss.

  8. I’m just dropping in to let you know that this weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/11/five-star-fridays-edition-80.html


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